He Wants To Dump His Girlfriend For Wanting To Buy A House Since They Can’t Afford It
Many people agree that buying a home and investing in your own future equity is a better financial decision than paying thousands of dollars in rent each month.
But isn’t it smarter to recognize when you should make that jump and wait until you’re completely ready to take on such a big commitment?
This 31-year-old man thinks so, but his 32-year-old girlfriend has a different perspective. They’ve been dating for two years and living together for one year, and they don’t have any kids right now.
Yet, his girlfriend keeps insisting that they should buy a home within the next few months, even though he doesn’t think it’s financially realistic.
To give you some background on their current situation, they’re living in an apartment that works well with their finances. In fact, he and his girlfriend are able to split all the expenses nearly evenly, with him taking on 60% of the bills.
However, his girlfriend recently discovered that she had approximately $20,000 in her 401(k) from her old job, and she got an idea.
She wanted to take out a loan and use the money as a down payment on a house, with him matching her contribution.
Apparently, his girlfriend is just sick and tired of renting (which plenty of people can relate to). But while he’d love to buy a home eventually, he doesn’t think now is the right time for a few key reasons.
First of all, he’ll soon be attending graduate school and studying for professional exams in addition to working his regular job. This is going to be extremely time-consuming, especially because he takes care of the bulk of their household chores, including grocery shopping, laundry, vacuuming, and cooking.
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“Both of us are remote, thankfully, so I think it’s a little easier to handle this,” he explained.
“But it’s gotten to the point where I am constantly doing [stuff] and barely catch a breath. Finishing grad school and passing my exams will propel my career and help us afford the life we want in the future.”
Speaking of affordability, that’s the second reason. According to him, he and his girlfriend simply can’t swing a mortgage payment at the moment. So, he tried telling his girlfriend that, given the housing market, the wisest move would be to save up as much as they can and pay off their debts.
“She still has student loan debt, credit card debt, and is paying off her car. I’ve paid off my car, but I am still paying off student loans and expect more to come in grad school,” he noted.
Then, once their debts are resolved, he’d be willing to look into their home-buying options. His girlfriend, on the other hand, doesn’t see eye to eye with him on that, and he thinks their stalemate could be the end of their relationship.
When his girlfriend first broached the topic of getting a house, he supposedly tried to be “patient” with her since she’d suffered a lot of turmoil this year. Her grandfather dealt with some severe health problems, and she started battling on-and-off depression due to the scare.
“I’ve suggested therapy, but she refuses to go. I think for her, a house equals we are successful, and all her siblings/friends have their own house,” he detailed.
Regardless, he knows that both of their savings accounts are still reeling from a series of unfortunate events. Most notably, his girlfriend was finalizing her divorce when they first met, and the attorney fees tanked her savings. On top of that, she later got sick and was out of work for a long time, leaving him to be the sole breadwinner. That’s why his savings also took a hit.
Still, his girlfriend truly believes that buying a house will make them happier and refuses to budge on the timeline.
“And I’m at the end of my rope and not sure how to go forward without our relationship ending,” he vented.
So, if they can’t get on the same page, he’s wondering whether leaving his girlfriend would be justified or a jerk move.
Does it sound like buying a house so soon could just land them in more money trouble? Should he stand his ground? What advice would you give him?
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