Weddings really do test the strength of a friendship, right? I personally know a number of people who have had weddings tear their friendships apart.
What should have been a sweet honor for her, standing by her best friend as a bridesmaid, turned into a reality check about what that friendship was really worth. When she couldn’t keep up with the expenses, she was cut out of the bridal party and, for a while, cut out of the friendship too.
This woman’s best friend from college asked her to be a bridesmaid in her wedding a couple of months ago. She was thrilled to be included in her bestie’s big day…but then she got the rundown of what it would cost her.
Her best friend demanded she buy a $300 dress and get her makeup and hair done with her personal stylist, which was $150. She was also expected to buy her best friend several gifts and go on a bachelorette trip that was $800 a girl.
“I told her I couldn’t afford the trip (I have a steady job but live alone, pay rent, and still have student loans),” she explained.
“I offered to make up for it in other ways…help with decorations, print the invitations, even cover part of the bridal brunch. But that wasn’t enough.”
“She got mad, told me, ‘if you can’t afford it, you shouldn’t have said yes to being a bridesmaid,’ and literally demoted me to just a guest.”
Her best friend then took her out of the group chat they had going for all of the bridesmaids to communicate. She quit speaking to her best friend, and her feelings were truly hurt.
Howver, she came to see that if her best friend wanted to use receipts as a way to measure their friendship, that meant she wasn’t actually her friend in the first place.
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She went on to kind of find solace in the fact that her best friend’s wedding turned out to be something of a mess, and definitely not the way she hoped it would go.
“The catering messed up, the music started late, and one of the bridesmaids (who did pay for everything) missed her flight and wasn’t even there on time,” she continued.
“I don’t hold a grudge, but it blows my mind how someone can treat you like an ATM and then pretend it never happened…Now, months later, she’s texting me like nothing ever happened.”
“The wedding is one day… but how you treat people sticks…”
She doesn’t owe her best friend a second chance. Cutting someone out of your bridal party because they can’t spend hundreds of dollars is just entitlement. I think this warrants cutting her best friend out of her life and moving on.
And honestly, it’s on the bride to make sure her bridesmaids aren’t put in an impossible spot financially.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
