I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my husband while on our first date, and I’m aware that probably sounds completely and utterly insane, but I just felt deep down that this was the person I had been waiting for all my life from the moment I met him.
Not everyone has those romcom moments when they meet their partner, but I think the majority of people can determine if they want to spend forever with someone without taking literal years to decide.
If you really want to get married, and your partner clearly isn’t all in on that, what should you do? Dump them? Give them an ultimatum? Wait around for them to figure it out?
For six years now, this 27-year-old woman has been dating her 31-year-old boyfriend, and she was up front with him not that long into being together.
She let him know that she wanted to be engaged to him before hitting their four-year anniversary, and he said he felt the same exact way.
Six months before they celebrated their fourth anniversary, she once more addressed getting married, fully anticipating that her boyfriend would be on board with taking that next step in the commitment process.
“But he was still finishing his master’s and said he needed to get out of debt and sort out his finances first. I wanted to be supportive, so I kept quiet and tried to be patient,” she explained.
“Honestly, he makes good money, and we’ve lived together since year 2. When he did his master’s, I even moved three hours away from my hometown to be closer since my job is remote.”
“But seeing friends and family get engaged and married has been really tough. Everyone asks about my ring finger, and it just feels empty.”
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Recently, her boyfriend has been thriving in his career, and he’s evidently pleased with his life…yet he forgot about that conversation they had about getting engaged and moving forward.
She finally said something to him about it, and he instantly paused. He stated that he cannot afford to give her a wedding or an engagement ring.
However, it’s ludicrous to her that her boyfriend has been mentioning purchasing the motorbike he’s had his eye on since he was a kid.
Priorities, right?
Anyway, then her boyfriend said their life is great the way it already is, so they don’t need an official piece or paper or anything. He also pointed out that she already has health insurance, so there’s no need to get married.
“That really broke me, after all these years, I was thinking: why don’t I deserve to be his wife? Doesn’t he love me enough to make this romantic gesture? To choose me over a bike?” she wondered.
“I talked to my sister, who got engaged after two years, and she told me to pull back on ‘wife duties,’ until I get that title, like not cooking, not cleaning, maybe even moving out, and not covering his expenses sometimes. Well, when I didn’t renew our lease with him, he got really upset.”
That’s right, she hit him with an ultimatum: she’s not renewing their lease until he buys her an engagement ring. In response, her boyfriend accused her of mismanaging everything before stating that the lease basically gives their relationship stability.
Finally, he let her know that she was creating an awful mood. She replied that she’s been filling the role of a wife for him and bending over backwards for him, so by not renewing the lease, she can go back to being just a girlfriend.
She’s really not a fan of slapping someone with an ultimatum, but it’s time for her boyfriend to either propose or she’s pretty much done.
Well, I think she needs to walk away, because there’s no way he’s ever going to marry her. He already had six years to get on the same page as her, and he’s not there.
I’m afraid that if he ever does buy her an engagement ring, it’s only going to be to keep her quiet; he will have no intention of marrying her at all.
She’s still young and should stop wasting some of her best years on him. Instead, she should find a man who wants what she does and who will make her the most important thing in his life.
Do you think she’s being a jerk, and do you think her boyfriend will ever give her the commitment she wants?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
