What started as a normal first date quickly took a turn into something far heavier and deeper. While she was on a date with a man, TikToker @_talkingtoabiiii discovered that he was a victim of abuse, although he didn’t seem to realize it himself.
He gave her permission to share this whole interaction.
At first, they were chatting away, getting to know each other, when they suddenly got on the topic of him having a son. She was confused because his dating profile stated that he had zero dependents, meaning that he didn’t have any kids. He told her that he “technically” didn’t have any kids because his son was 18 years old.
However, the answer didn’t quite add up. Her date was only about 30, so she did the math in her head and realized something alarming. He would have been about 12 years old when his son was born.
Trying to understand the situation, she asked him if he had become a father at 12. She wasn’t trying to judge him. It was just that she hadn’t met many people who became parents at such a young age.
When she asked him how old the mom was, his response made things even more concerning. He told her that the mother was 36. So, if he had been 12 at the time the baby was born, the mother would have been 18. Clearly, this wasn’t just a case of becoming a young parent. This was a case of abuse.
TikToker @_talkingtoabiiii apologized to him for what he had been through. He proceeded to get upset with her for implying that he was a victim.
He reframed the experience as something positive, even boastful. In his mind, it was an achievement, not exploitation.
“He spent the next minute telling me how he couldn’t be a victim because he bagged the baddest chick and all of his friends wanted her, and I was like, ‘You do realize you guys were 12 and she was 18, right?'” said @_talkingtoabiiii.
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In our society, abuse is often overlooked, especially when it comes to boys and young men. Sadly, a lot of people were able to share similar experiences, highlighting how common and deeply ingrained this issue is.
Many underage male victims of abuse are conditioned to interpret relationships with older women as something to be admired, rather than recognized as harmful.
“I have had this conversation sooo many times, and they refuse to see it. It’s really the saddest thing,” commented one person.
“My ex also had that realization one day, and it hurt my heart to see him process all that,” stated another.
“Had a man completely stop talking to me after we had a similar conversation. We had been dating for four months at the time,” wrote a third.
“My son told me that one of his old friends has a baby. Dude just turned 14, and his baby is seven months,” added someone else.
By Emily Chan
Emily Chan is a writer who covers lifestyle and news content. She graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in... More about Emily Chan
