It’s simply not possible to be in two places at once. So how would you feel if you picked one funeral to attend over another, only to have your partner melt down on you about it?
For the last nine years, this 45-year-old woman has been with her 56-year-old boyfriend. She was married once before, and marriage is still something she really wants for her future.
As for her boyfriend? He is completely opposed to marrying her, even though he’s fully aware of how important this is to her. She feels like she’s sadly suffering because of this, but that’s not the main issue she’s having with her boyfriend right now.
“My ex-husband died in February 2026, unexpectedly due to a heart attack. We were married 13 years and [were] still great friends. We shared IG memes and kept in touch about family stuff regularly,” she explained.
“My ex liked golf. His family and friends decided to plan a memorial/celebration of life for him when the weather improved…it’s May 16th.”
She and her family have already made plans to attend her ex-husband’s funeral, which her boyfriend didn’t have a problem with.
But unfortunately, her boyfriend’s brother was involved in a car accident and passed away without warning on Tuesday. Her boyfriend’s brother’s funeral will be happening on May 15th in a completely different state. There’s no way she can manage to attend both funerals due to logistics.
Her boyfriend wasn’t close to his brother at all, and she’s seen the guy exactly four times in the last nine years, so she wasn’t friends with him either.
“My boyfriend and his brother [did] not keep in touch or text regularly. I reminded my boyfriend that my ex-husband’s memorial was the day after his brother’s funeral and that since they were in different states, I may not be able to go,” she continued.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
“He flipped out. Said I wasn’t supporting him…I was picking my ex over him. Wait. We both lost family. I feel like this situation [stinks] and requires both people to have empathy for the other person.”
“I would feel terrible if I didn’t go to my ex-husband’s memorial. I expect him to go to his brother’s funeral. At the end of the day, we are boyfriend and girlfriend…I feel like it’s acceptable for us to each support our own family situations.”
She’s left wondering if she’s wrong to pick her ex-husband’s funeral over her boyfriend’s brother’s funeral.
No, she’s not wrong for attending the funeral of the person she was close to instead of the person she didn’t have a relationship with.
I do find it concerning that her boyfriend melted down on her over this, and I also think it’s a big red flag that she wants to get married while he doesn’t.
They don’t sound like they’re on the same page, and if she’s seeking an exit strategy, the whole funeral debacle could be a good way to end things with her boyfriend.
Why is she settling for this guy?
What do you think?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
