I think the only thing worse than being cheated on is having your spouse’s affair partner then keep throwing their private messages in your face. How would you even begin to handle that?
This woman has been married to her husband for nearly 19 years. Four months ago, she uncovered his affair, which was emotional and physical.
Her husband and his affair partner had a romance that lasted a year, but as soon as she did find out about her, her husband completely cut the other woman out of his life.
He deleted WhatsApp, which is how he kept in touch with his mistress; he blocked the other woman’s number, and he blocked the additional numbers she kept coming up with in order to reach him.
Her husband additionally got himself a therapist, has been fully candid with her, and supports the fact that she’s sad and furious at the same time.
“Basically, he’s doing ALL the things to desperately repair our marriage. From what I know, their relationship was essentially a fantasy,” he explained.
“They talked and texted at night. Never saw each other in person except for 2 work conferences where they [slept together] (she lives thousands of miles away). My husband tells me (I still take everything he says with a grain of salt) that he consistently told her, ‘ You need to find someone else, I’m never going to leave my wife.'”
“He never made any real initiative to have a life with her, and in fact, we went on an international trip together during the time of their last work conference. So essentially signaling to her, my wife is more important.”
After her husband was branded a cheater, she only blamed him for the decisions he made; she never considered his affair partner to be at fault.
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She’s done her best to show this woman empathy, and she’s grown to feel sorry for her. This woman gave her husband an entire year of her life. She foolishly loved a man who never ended up picking her.
She knows her husband’s affair partner has to be aching over all of this. And her husband led this woman to believe that he was in love with her.
She has never once confronted her husband’s affair partner, bashed her, or done anything to her at all. She’s kept quiet and maintained her distance.
But this woman has come at her with a vengeance and has spent the last four months harassing her online as well as bombarding her with messages from burner phones.
“[She] has sent screenshots of their conversations, all of him expressing how much he loves her, how she is the most amazing woman he’s ever known,” she added.
“She has contacted a total of 12 family law firms, inquiring about a divorce. She fills out an online form and submits my personal information. She uses my maiden name instead of my married name to be especially hurtful.”
“Her latest spiral includes making an anonymous Threads account. She started following ALL my friends/acquaintances/coworkers from Threads and has posted pictures of my husband that he sent her. And screenshots of texts he sent her—things like ‘I love being [unclothed] with you. Only you.’ And many, many more texts about his love and admiration for her. It’s incredibly painful and cruel.”
She just can’t get over what this woman is doing to her, especially as she’s attempting to heal and move on while getting to the bottom of whether or not she and her husband can successfully reconcile.
Her self-esteem is already in the toilet, and this other woman is doing a great job of keeping it there.
I know this is easier said than done, but first and foremost, she can’t let this woman drive a wedge between her and her husband, as that’s clearly what she’s after.
It might even be tempting to respond, but she absolutely shouldn’t do that (and her husband, as well as her loved ones, shouldn’t engage either).
I think the best thing she can do is reach out to a lawyer to see what her options are for getting this woman to leave her alone once and for all.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
