How would you feel if you found out that your partner kept their affair child hidden from you and everyone else, while their affair partner passed the kid off as their own spouse’s?
This 29-year-old woman just discovered that her 33-year-old husband has a secret 8-year-old child. Aside from her husband and this kid’s mom, not a single person knew of their existence. Not even she did!
Her husband and his baby mama made the decision to keep this kid a complete secret. Her husband’s affair partner even went so far as to tell her own husband that he was the father of the kid.
“The child was conceived while my husband was still married to his ex-wife. He and his ex-wife also have a 10-year-old daughter together,” she explained.
“My husband’s mother was the first to find out. The secret mother reached out to her, and his mother told me after trying to pressure my husband into telling me, and he didn’t want to tell me yet.”
As soon as her husband’s mom learned of the child, she got a DNA test done, and it’s true, the child is her husband’s. Her husband has stated that he’s known all along about the kid being his, but now it’s undeniable.
She’s spent the last three years with her husband, and they have a two-year-old together, so she’s stunned to find out her husband has another kid out there in the world.
Her husband’s mom reached out to his ex-wife, who then told their 10-year-old daughter about this other kid before she and her husband were aware that they knew.
Her husband’s daughter has known about the secret child for two months and was instructed not to talk about it while at their house.
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Her husband’s daughter has been unusually quiet lately, and now they know why that is…she’s been busy keeping the kid hidden.
She figured this all out after the secret kid’s mom sent her a direct message, filling her in. This resulted in an enormous blowup because she didn’t suspect that anyone else knew about the kid except her and her husband.
“Now I feel like I’m living in a soap opera, and I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to do with all of this.
Right now, I honestly want distance from the entire situation,” she added.
“My own child is too young to understand any of this, and the amount of drama surrounding the child’s mother already has me very hesitant about jumping into some big blended-family relationship immediately.”
“My husband agrees that things have become chaotic and says he wanted more time before this all came out publicly, but now his mother wants to become heavily involved in this child’s life. I feel like that is going to force this situation onto the rest of us before I’ve even had time to process any of it or decide the best move for myself and my child.”
She’s not trying to defend her husband here; she knows he made his fair share of blunders along the way. She feels overloaded, and she’s having a tough time trying to navigate what boundaries should be in place.
I’m not really sure how she’s going to manage to trust her husband ever again, considering a child is one heck of a secret to keep. I can understand why he didn’t tell his ex-wife about the kid because that was sure to hurt her, but why didn’t he get involved in the kid’s life following their divorce, or let her in on the secret, since he didn’t cheat on her?
Maybe her husband was too worried about the optics and branding himself as a cheater. Who knows. Anyway, this is so chaotic that I’m not sure how she will find peace while still being married to her husband.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
