We all have different dealbreakers in relationships, but not all of us consider cheating to be one of them. How would you feel if you found out that the person you were about to marry had cheated on you with someone they met online?
This 33-year-old man has spent the last eight years with his 32-year-old fiancée, and they moved in with one another five years ago.
She’s his first genuine relationship, and while he says he’s hardly perfect, he has never broken his fiancée’s trust by cheating on her.
He proposed last winter, and his fiancée said yes. He really thought they were on the path of spending forever together, but yesterday he was out of the house when his fiancée called him.
She was clearly upset and asked him to come back home so she could speak to him about something.
“When I got back, she was crying and told me she cheated about two weeks ago with someone she met online. She said it wasn’t about me and that she regrets it,” he explained.
“What’s really hard is that she waited two weeks to tell me. She left and is staying with family for now, but I don’t know if or when she’s coming back. I’m at the apartment with our two cats, [whom] we raised from kittens. I feel pretty numb.”
“Part of me wants things to feel normal again, but it also feels like something is broken. My trust feels gone. I’ve always been a very trusting person, and she’s even pointed that out before. Now it feels like that got used against me.”
He’s honestly not sure he wants to leave her, and the fact that their lives have been interwined for the last eight years certainly makes it harder for him to decide what he should do.
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For right now, he just wants to survive the next couple of days. His fiancée works close by to their house, and she could walk through the door at any moment, so he’s trying to keep it together.
He’s struggling with how to share their space and what boundaries he should set with her to avoid super emotional conversations early on while he takes time to process it all.
“And how do you handle the uncertainty of not knowing when the other person will come back while still trying to keep some stability?” he wondered.
Well, it’s really up to him if he thinks he can forgive his fiancée for hooking up with another man. At the very least, he should call the wedding off while he takes time to think about what he really wants here.
I get that he’s built an entire life with this woman, but he should stop to consider whether or not he wants to be tied to someone who isn’t faithful.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
