Making an effort really is everything. You have to put effort into whatever you do, whether it be your career, your friendships, or your dating life, in order to get somewhere.
I guess there are men out there who don’t think that rule applies to them when it comes to love, as Becca’s (@becfic on TikTok) friend recently, and disappointingly, found out.
Becca is warning women not to accept the bare minimum after what happened to her friend, who started talking to a man she met out in the real world.
Becca’s friend really liked this guy. He was super sweet and seemed promising. The first date Becca’s friend went on with this guy was out for coffee. They both had a wonderful time.
“Two weeks later, they got another coffee, and at this point, she likes him; she’s seen him out before, they’ve gone on two coffee dates,” Becca explained in her video.
“And, mind you, she’s upper 20s, career girl, gorgeous, a lot going for her, and he texts her…he asks if she wants to go on a third date.”
Becca’s friend agreed and asked the guy what he had planned. He said they could get some appetizers. Becca’s friend didn’t even bother replying to him after that.
“The reason she didn’t reply, one, it was the third date, so why is it even a question that they couldn’t go to dinner, and two, like the kind of inconsistency and lack of confidence was just an ick,” Becca said.
“So, she ended up not talking to him after that. But if it just puts it out there that guys have been so low effort. Meanwhile, again, my friend is a stunning 10 out of 10, so I’m just hoping she meets her Prince Charming soon.”
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Look, I’m all for coffee on a first date because it’s not a big commitment to make up front, and if things go south or you don’t like the person, it’s easy to extract yourself (been there, done that, and my preferred move was to tell guys I only had 30 minutes before rushing back to work in case it did get ugly).
But coffee for a second date makes no sense, and already sets the tone while leaving the bar on the floor. Becca’s friend should have realized after that that this guy wasn’t really trying to make an effort at all.
And then asking a girl out for appetizers on a third date is just insane and makes me wonder if this guy is actually trying to attract a girlfriend at all.
I’m not saying you have to wine and dine someone and spend insane amounts of money on wooing them, but come on, dinner on a third date should be a no-brainer.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
