She Was Expected To Help Plan Her Brother-In-Law’s Wedding With His Fiancée Even Though She Was Not Asked To Be A Bridesmaid, So She Refused
This woman’s brother-in-law recently got engaged to his fiancée, and to celebrate the momentous occasion, the happy couple decided to have a Halloween-themed engagement party.
She had never heard of such a thing until she and her husband received an invite to the party in the mail.
Unfortunately, though, she came down with an upper respiratory infection before the event, so she was unable to attend. Instead, her husband flew solo and went without her.
Well, during the party, her brother-in-law and his fiancée also decided to publicly announce who would be in the wedding party. And, of course, her husband was chosen as the best man.
“Obvious, considering it’s his brother,” she noted.
She, on the other hand, was not asked to be in the bridal party. To be quite honest, though, she was not mad about that whatsoever.
First of all, she and her brother-in-law’s fiancée do not hang out and are not really friends. So, she was not expecting to be asked in the first place.
On top of that, she did not want to be asked to be a bridesmaid anyway since there are a ton of associated responsibilities and costs.
For instance, she would be expected to help out with the bridal shower, attend the bachelorette party and help decorate and plan.
EmotionPhoto – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
“Stuff that someone with a lot of anxiety is truly happy not to be involved in,” she said.
To her dismay, though, she ended up getting roped into some of her husband’s family drama and was still asked to have a hand in throwing some pre-wedding festivities– despite not being a bridesmaid.
For context, her husband’s parents got divorced a long time ago, right after he turned eighteen and left to attend the police academy. And later, both of his parents ended up remarrying his step-parents.
Ever since then, though, her husband’s mother and stepmother have absolutely hated each other.
So anyway, following the Halloween engagement party, she was caught off guard when she received a text from her husband’s stepmother.
More specifically, she was shocked because, out of the blue, her husband’s stepmother claimed that she and her husband’s mother were going to be civil and try to help plan the wedding together.
The most bizarre part, though, was that her husband’s stepmother included her in this plan.
It all began when her husband’s stepmother detailed how her brother-in-law’s fiancée set a date for her husband’s mother and stepmother to get together and discuss the wedding agenda.
She was surprised to learn that and told her husband’s stepmother that it was great they were all getting along for the sake of the event.
Then, after sending that text, she received the curveball– her husband’s stepmother claimed she would be involved in planning the wedding shower, too.
She was taken aback and told her husband’s stepmother that she did not want to be involved. Her husband’s stepmother continued insisting, though, and she was ultimately forced to refuse the responsibility.
“It may have come off weird, but I am honestly not used to saying no,” she recalled.
“My psychiatrist said saying no to things is okay, and I should stick up for myself and say it more often.”
Still, she felt bad about rejecting any involvement, so she turned to some friends and her husband for their perspectives on the situation.
Her friends, though, just simply asked if she was in the bridal party or not. And when she revealed she was not a bridesmaid, all of her friends agreed that she had every right to say no to planning.
On top of that, her friends noted how it was kind of bizarre to have someone involved in the bridal shower planning if they were not in the bridal party. In turn, they claimed that she should have just been asked to be a bridesmaid in the first place if she was going to be expected to contribute.
Her husband also agreed with her friends and claimed that it would be a really jerky move to make her do additional planning and decorating and possibly contribute financially when she had not been asked to join the bridal party.
So now, she feels that even being expected to do such things while being a normal guest was over the line. At the same time, though, she is not sure if refusing to pitch in anyway makes her a jerk.
Why do you think her husband’s stepmother wanted her to be involved in the planning? Is it odd to ask a non-bridesmaid to contribute to the events? If you had been in her shoes, would you have refused, too?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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