His Fiancée Just Gave Him An Ultimatum That He Can Pick His Mentally Ill Sister, Who He Provides For, Or He Can Pick Her

aemstock - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
aemstock - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

A 23-year-old guy is currently engaged to his 23-year-old fiancée, but there is one thing (or person, rather) that has driven a wedge between them: his sister.

He’s been with his fiancée for close to 4 years, and he refers to her as his fiancée, even though he has not gotten engaged to her officially yet.

He and his fiancée are going to get engaged pretty soon, but throughout the past couple of weeks, his 19-year-old sister’s mental health took a turn for the worse, which has, in turn, impacted his own relationship with his fiancée.

His sister lives with him and his fiancée, and out of absolutely nowhere, she started to develop incredibly severe mental health problems.

He and his fiancée have since done everything they could to get here into treatment, but it has been a painfully slow process.

He’s also had several evenings where he has had to take his sister to the ER on work nights because she was thinking of taking her own life.

“From what I can tell, it’s similar to paranoid schizophrenia because she fabricates memories and adds paranoid aspects that are impossible,” he explained.

“For example, she could say an employee we encounter at the grocery tells her he recognizes her because her phone camera roll has been hacked and publicly leaked. In reality, I was there during this interaction, and know that the employee never said a word to her. My sister’s mental health situation has caused both my fiancée and I enough stress to be a post on its own. But this is about last night and my relationship with my fiancée.”

“Last night, my sister came to me telling me that she needed to urgently speak to me outside, without any electronics around (part of the ‘the government is listening in’ stuff). I always do my best to be supportive without validating her delusions, but in this instance, I left my phone right inside the door just to go outside and calm her down. My fiancée was nearby, and loudly voiced that I shouldn’t be going along with it, and presented an ultimatum that if I set my phone down and go outside, she will leave our relationship.”

aemstock – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

The thing is, his fiancée has been nothing but compassionate and supportive of his sister since his sister’s issues surfaced.

His fiancée has never once given him an ultimatum in their relationship and has also never raised her voice at him as she did in that instance.

Clearly, his fiancée has just had it, but he has tried to make her understand that as soon as his sister can get treatment and take care of herself, she will be on her own.

But it’s not just his sister’s fits of “hysterical psychosis” that are hard on him and his fiancée; his sister has also taxed them both financially.

His sister does not have a job, let alone money saved, so he and his fiancée have been footing the bill for her food, her part of their rent, the electricity she uses, the WiFi, and additional expenses for months.

Additionally, he has begun paying his sister’s monthly car payments, which come out to $356 a month, and he did co-sign for her car.

“Because of her delusions, my sister is not trying to find a job and knows she can depend on us to provide for her,” he said.

But anyway, back to that ultimatum his fiancée gave him last night about holding onto his phone or she was going to leave.

When those words left his mouth, he had no clue how to reply to her. He then watched as his fiancée began packing up her belongings.

As this was all going down, his sister was still begging him to speak to her outside, so he went outside with his sister.

While outside with his sister, she was talking about how she was being tracked through her phone, and he just did his best to try to calm her.

Several minutes later, his fiancée came outside and began loading her things into her car, clearly ready to get out of there.

He rushed to finish calming his sister down and then went over to his fiancée.

“I tried to express how I understand how difficult it is, but it’s just a slow process and not worth her leaving,” he continued.

“She expressed how difficult the last two months have been and how much I have been occupied and taken away by these issues. Personally, I feel like I have balanced things as best as the average person could, but she began screaming and nearly crying, which I had never seen her do before.”

“She was yelling fairly unkind things about my sister and unfair things about me, which I’m sure my sister heard. She then boiled it down to one last ultimatum: one will be leaving, either her or my sister.”

Today, he has tried to promise his fiancée that he will fix everything. He even promised to send his sister to live with their mom so that he and his fiancée’s lives can go back to normal.

He’s in love with his fiancée and is terrified to really lose her after all, but on the other side of things, he’s upset that she yelled at him and gave him an ultimatum.

What do you think he should do in this situation?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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