He Has Kept His Wealth A Secret From His Girlfriend, But Now That They’re Moving In Together And Discussing Marriage, He’s Not Sure How To Come Clean
This 34-year-old guy has known his girlfriend Kate, who is 33, for about four years now.
They first met because their friend groups overlapped. And even though he was not really crazy about Kate in the beginning, she eventually grew on him.
Then, after three years of just being friends, they both felt like “something clicked” and decided to get into a relationship.
Their first real date was on Valentine’s Day in 2022, and since then, their relationship has progressed really well.
Kate is now planning to move in with him, and they have even talked about getting engaged.
“I really like her a lot, and this has been the best relationship I have been in. But I am also not madly crazy in love,” he revealed.
“I feel a little bit like I am settling, but I am okay with that to have someone like her with me.”
Still, that is not his largest issue with his relationship right now. Instead, he is more worried about telling his girlfriend about his financial situation.
He detailed how, back in high school, he began interning at a start-up while passing up other college opportunities. His goal was to remain local and work full-time while getting his degree.
ty – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Despite being very young at the time, though, he was ultimately promoted at the start-up quite quickly. So, he not only got a generous salary but even got an equity stake in the company.
Afterward, the business wound up growing rapidly, and he recalled feeling like a big fish in a little pond.
Then, by the time he reached his late twenties, the start-up was acquired, and he was relieved of his position. In the wake of the buy-out, though, he was left with a lot of money.
“I had a large severance in addition to the equity dumped in my lap. Plus, I had stock in the acquiring company,” he said.
Now, it was reportedly not enough money to “retire on a yacht” or even just retire immediately. Nonetheless, he worked with a financial advisor to save it safely.
So, it is more than enough money for him to live wherever he wants and work in whatever type of position that makes him happy– even if it does not pay well.
And as long as he keeps working in a position that he finds fulfilling, he will be financially secure for the rest of his life– living off the returns on his investments alone without even dipping into the principal balance.
The problem, though, is that none of his friends know about his financial situation. And neither does his girlfriend, Kate.
He claims that he was able to keep his wealth a secret because he does not live extravagantly. He lives in a nice place in a good neighborhood, but he doesn’t drive a fancy car, and he shops at Target.
He also doesn’t wear any expensive items like watches and never really splurges on expensive things. Well, except for a few solo vacations he has gone on– but he was able to chalk those expenses up to savings.
As for his girlfriend, he claimed that Kate comes from “a very modest background.”
“Which is nicer than saying that her family was and still is very poor and has no concept of fiscal responsibility,” he noted.
Thankfully, though, Kate seems to be an exception in her family– since she has worked extremely hard for everything in her life.
His girlfriend does still have large student loans, among other expenses hanging over her head, though. So, he actually hoped she would move in with him sooner. But Kate did not want to break her lease.
His girlfriend also reportedly hates her job and has other dreams for her future. But she needs her current job to keep paying the bills and has no way to financially make her dreams come true at the moment.
Now, he claims to realize that he could fix most of Kate’s financial problems without it even affecting him. And throughout his relationship, he has opted to pay for most of their dates and other outings because he wants to– even though Kate still insists on covering those bills sometimes.
But, while it appears as though Kate tries to handle her money well and be fiscally responsible for herself, he is still worried about cluing her in on his wealth– the main reason being that he knows people “get very weird” once money enters relationships.
In the past, he has already had to cut family out of his life because they were gunning for funds. And even though he knows Kate will eventually need to find out if they continue their relationship, he never wanted to mention it earlier because he did not want to screw up their dynamic or risk money changing their relationship.
Now that so much time has passed, though, he admitted to being terrified of telling Kate about his finances now. In fact, he is worried that she will actually resent him for letting her struggle with bills over the past year they have been together.
“I don’t want her to stay with me because she knows she can quit her day job and take a risk on what she wants to do. But I will be happy to let her do it if we are together for the right reasons,” he explained.
At the same time, he is also worried that if he tells Kate– and her family learns that she is now financially well off– then her family will try to leech off of her. He claimed to have even seen this happen to Kate before when her family tried to go after her for even just a few hundred dollars.
So, he is entirely open to the idea of actually moving away with Kate and starting fresh if she really wants to.
Obviously, though, the first step is to actually have an open conversation with his girlfriend and come clean about his wealth. So, he has been left wondering how to approach the situation without it totally blowing up in his face.
Is it understandable why he is worried about being honest? At the same time, does it seem like Kate would really try to take advantage of him? Should finances be discussed at this point in a relationship, or are they better saved for later? How do you suggest he approach this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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