Her Ex Refuses To Accept That Their Relationship Is Over, And She’s Struggling To Handle The Feelings That Come With Being The “Dumper”

MoreThanProd - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
MoreThanProd - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This 31-year-old woman and her ex-boyfriend, who is 32, were together for six and a half years. But, they had a pretty tumultuous relationship that was sometimes good, other times, not so much.

Her ex reportedly had a drinking addiction and a pretty dark past. She also eventually found out that he had been talking to a few girls behind her back during the COVID-19 pandemic.

And while she decided to forgive her ex at the time, she really did not see their relationship lasting much longer. She simply stayed with him because they still lived together at the time.

Then, she did wind up moving out and settling down by herself about three hours away. At that point, her ex tried to stay friends with her– which she allowed, even though she kind of regrets that now.

“We were in sort of a limbo situation; I can’t explain it. My own parents didn’t even understand it,” she recalled.

And since she was essentially the one who ended their relationship, her ex ultimately wanted to get back together.

So, he quit drinking and attempted to make their relationship work even though she really did not want to be with him anymore.

Her ex did know that other guys had been talking to her, too. Despite that, he still did not want to end things.

“He had this fantasy that we would work out. And emotionally, I started to check out,” she admitted.

MoreThanProd – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

And more recently, she has begun talking to a guy from her past again– who used to be friends with her brother. Ever since they reconnected, things have also started to progress.

So, for the first time in a long time, she is starting to have some really happy feelings.

To be clear: their relationship is not “super serious” by any means. But branching out and talking to this guy has finally made her realize what she was missing out on before finding someone who truly made her happy.

However, she was eventually forced to tell her ex-boyfriend that she was talking with this other guy– who she liked.

“Basically, it made me realize that I had been wasting my time with my ex in a relationship and situation going nowhere fast, and I wanted more,” she explained.

“I wanted to move on.”

While her ex was understanding at first, though, he wound up taking the news extremely hard. In fact, he actually started crying, acting out and even kept calling her to talk about their “official” breakup.

And at the beginning, she felt extremely upset about ending things and finally letting go, too.

Then, she started to feel angry and annoyed since her ex was acting childish and forcing her to feel like the bad guy; meanwhile, she was expected to be strong.

“I even said things like, ‘I can’t sit here holding your hand. It’s not my job. I’m sorry things are ending, and it hurts me too, but we both knew we weren’t good together. You need to move on. We both do, for our own happiness,'” she said.

Still, even after all of that, her ex refuses to let go of their relationship. Sure, he claims to accept that they’re over. Yet, he still calls her just to discuss their breakup.

And this is making it extremely difficult for her because she really does not hate her ex. On the contrary, he was actually her best friend.

In the past, she had gone through bad breakups that resulted in her and her exes straight-up blocking each other. But this situation is different, and she feels terrible breaking her ex’s heart.

“I feel rotten ending things the way I did and having to listen to him cry. It sucks. I miss our connection, but I just don’t feel that way anymore,” she vented.

So, since she has not ended a relationship in years, she’s been left wondering what to do and how to handle this messy situation.

Have you ever broken up with someone who you still really cared about? How did you navigate your feelings while still standing your ground?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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