She Arrived Home From A Trip To A Disgusting Apartment That Her Boyfriend Just Wants Her To Clean Up, And She Thinks This May Be A Dealbreaker
This 22-year-old woman currently lives with her 21-year-old boyfriend, who works full-time. She, on the other hand, works in addition to going to school.
They also split all of their expenses, including things like rent and grocery bills. But, when it comes to completing responsibilities around their home, she has to do absolutely everything.
From cooking and cleaning to packing lunches and taking care of their laundry, she handles it. In the beginning, she didn’t mind doing these things for her boyfriend, either.
That was because, some nights, he would offer to pitch in. For instance, after she made dinner, he would offer to clean up.
On other days, they would switch chores such as vacuuming or cleaning the bathroom. She also genuinely enjoyed baking and cooking as a creative outlet to clear her head.
“But recently, I think he’s gotten a bit too comfortable because he will not do anything,” she revealed.
“Over time, it’s gotten to be less and less! Before we moved in together, we were together for three years, and he was never this messy.”
This past month, once more incident fully sent her over the edge, too.
It all began when she decided to go away on a family trip for one week. Prior to leaving, she asked her boyfriend to water her plants because, of course, she didn’t want them to die.
PhotoGranary – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She didn’t have a ton of plans or anything, just one inside and two outside. She even pointed out how they were very easy to care for, which was why she wasn’t worried, and her boyfriend said it was no problem.
Well, while she was away on her trip, her boyfriend let her know that his two sisters would be going to visit the same week. Then, his sisters planned to stay for a few more days after she returned home.
At the time, she thought that was fine, too. However, upon returning to her apartment, she realized that their space was an utter disaster.
First of all, all of her plants were completely dead. She even resorted to pouring three full water bottles on them, and the hardened soil absorbed the liquid so fast.
To make matters worse, there is food absolutely everywhere. The pantry, which she had just recently organized, is filled with garbage, and there are chips all over the floor.
Her boyfriend didn’t even take out the garbage once when she was gone. Instead, there are full garbage bags just sitting out on their balcony.
“In the bathroom, there was laundry everywhere. I couldn’t even see the floor. I stopped doing his laundry for him a while ago, hence why there’s so much,” she added.
“And I honestly don’t even want to talk about the bathroom. It’s disgusting. Also, he and his sisters used all of my shampoo and conditioner from my shower, and I couldn’t even wash my hair when I got back.”
Now, she claimed that her boyfriend knew how she felt about their apartment when it was so messy. Plus, whenever he went away, she always tried her best to make their space feel warm and welcoming when he returned.
That’s why she decided to confront her boyfriend about it, but when she brought up their apartment looking like a disaster, her boyfriend actually said that she could just clean it!
She was shocked and replied to her boyfriend, “Excuse me?” Nonetheless, he just said they could both clean the apartment. He also blamed the mess on his sisters and claimed it wasn’t bad until the girls arrived.
She still pointed out how her boyfriend’s sisters were his guests, meaning that she shouldn’t have to clean up after his company.
“They’re also teenagers, so they’re pretty capable of looking after themselves. And I cleaned before I left, so hopefully it would be nice-ish when I got back,” she explained.
However, in the past, she would clean up after her boyfriend’s friends because he simply wouldn’t do it.
In hindsight, she realized she might’ve made a mistake because now, her boyfriend likely thinks that if he waits out the mess long enough, then she will just get frustrated and clean it herself.
Anyway, throughout their discussion, her boyfriend kept telling her that she could take care of everything– for instance, taking out the garage or dealing with the pantry.
Not to mention, he waited until she nearly lost it and started crying to say, “Wow, you’re so mad that I didn’t have it perfect for you.”
That just made her seriously upset because her boyfriend simply pushed and pushed until she nearly snapped; then, he acted like she was crazy.
“Obviously, I don’t care if it’s perfect, but why does it have to be disgusting and filthy? This is so gross. And it’s not even totally that I came home to it like that because I wouldn’t even expect him to clean it for me since he never has,” she admitted.
“But it’s the fact that he thinks I should be the one cleaning it!”
She realizes that their messy apartment might not be the largest problem in the world. Yet, she is still just getting seriously fed up with working, going to school, and caring for the entirety of their apartment when they pay the same amount of money to live there.
So, she is feeling really sad, unappreciated, and burnt out, and she is beginning to resent her boyfriend over this issue.
Nonetheless, she doesn’t want to break up with him whatsoever.
“But it’s hard when he won’t even have a conversation and is just stubborn and hard-headed about something so simple,” she vented.
That’s why she’s now wondering whether the issue is a dealbreaker for their relationship and, if not, how to make the situation get better.
Have you ever been in an imbalanced relationship like that? Is there any coming back from this, or should she cut her losses now? What would you do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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