She’s Wondering What Dating Advice Your Younger Self Needed To Hear
We’ve all heard the saying, “Hindsight is 20/20.” But this expression could not be more accurate when applied to dating.
Perhaps you look back on high school flings or college romances and shudder with regret. Maybe you spent too much time trying to get through to someone who was emotionally unavailable or wasted too much effort trying to change someone who did not want to better themselves.
Right now, you could also be in the thick of it– trying to navigate the infamous dating pool while attempting to keep a clear head.
One 29-year-old woman is currently in the same boat and has been feeling so exhausted, drained, and burnt out from dating around and hooking up that she actually just wants to give up searching altogether.
“I want a life partner, but I don’t want to be stressed about it or constantly feel like I’m settling,” she vented.
“I want to have fun, but it gets tough being alone.”
That’s why she recently turned to Reddit for some advice– asking seasoned relationship vets to reflect on their past romances and share their insights.
“What advice would you give your younger self on dating?” she wondered.
A bunch of people from the online community responded, all sharing pretty helpful tidbits.
Alexandr – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags,” commented Bloodredrogue.
Can it get more insightful than that? If you are blinded by someone’s potential and the current chemistry you have with them, it can be hard– if not impossible– to pick up on any downsides.
So, while you should enjoy the feeling of being in the “honeymoon stage,” don’t forget to be on the lookout for red flags before it’s too late and you wound up hurt.
“If they wanted you, they would make it known. Don’t go chasing ‘maybes,'” added Consequencecool2242.
Once again, it can be easy to get wrapped up in the excitement or possibility of a new romance– pushing you to overlook lack of commitment or effort.
But you should not have to beg someone to be with you or go along with a casual fling if that isn’t what you want. Determine your needs and boundaries, and stick to them.
“And when someone shows you who they are, believe them. You can’t ‘fix them.’ A broken heart can and will mend. However, it takes time to do so,” explained Crossroadking.
“The time necessary will be different after each one. The one you thought you would marry turned out to be the hardest one to lose, and it will take five years to get through, but you will get there.”
Finally, many Redditors also reassured young adults in the dating pool that it is completely okay to walk away if a relationship is no longer serving you.
Ending a romance does not mean you’re inadequate or that you failed.
“Killing yourself to try and fix everything just to make a few minutes of happiness isn’t a healthy relationship. If they don’t reciprocate effort, they aren’t worth yours,” said Mandark1171.
Do you agree with these pieces of dating advice? What else would you want to tell your younger self?
You can read the original thread on Reddit here.
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