She’s Liked Girls For Her Whole Life, But Now She Has A Crush On A Guy For The Very First Time, But She’s Worried He Won’t Like Her Back
This 19-year-old girl admits that she is pretty “butch” and has always liked girls for her whole life. But now, she’s finding herself crushing on a guy for the very first time.
Ever since she was little, she knew she liked girls and only girls. She’s nearing 20, and she’s no longer feeling the same way that she always has.
It’s honestly embarrassing for her how “girlish” this crush is making her feel. She also isn’t sure that this guy even likes her or will be accepting of her for the way that she is.
“I’m very masculine; I wear exclusively men’s clothes and underwear, and I don’t own a razor aside from the clippers I use to shave my head,” she explained.
“I tried dating boys in my early teens because I thought there was something wrong with me, not because I liked them, and it just wasn’t for me.”
“I met him at work, he’s a fresh-out-of-academy cop who comes in the store from time to time, on duty and off. I wasn’t really interested in him, but one night, something just clicked in me.”
It all started when one of her friends ended up getting arrested due to her warrants. She spent that entire evening worried sick about her.
When she got off of work that night, she saw this cop pulling someone over in the parking lot at her job.
After he finished up, she approached him and asked him if he happened to know who had arrested her friend.
Vera – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“…He got all bashful and raised his hand. It was so sweet,” she said. “She had already gotten bailed out by then, so I wasn’t worried anymore and thought the whole situation was funny.”
“Me and [the] cop talked for well over 30 minutes, and I just felt this intense spark between us. At least, in my head, there was one. He makes me feel like a little kid. Every time I talk to him, I find myself blushing and giggling and not able to make eye contact. He’ll look me in the eyes with this look on his face, and I can’t help but look away because I know my face has to be beet red.”
She’s crushing on him so hard that she thinks about him nonstop and even draws little sketches of him. She also spends time thinking about adorable scenarios in her head that would involve having a whole life with him.
Not too long ago, he got into an accident and wasn’t at work for some time. She didn’t see him, and she really missed being able to.
But then, he came into her store off-duty, clearly banged up, and she sat there and thought that she wished she could be the one taking care of him.
“I think the hardest thing for me is wondering if he is even capable of liking me back,” she continued.
“I know I’m not completely unlikable by men, I’ve been asked out by guys before because ‘short haired thick women’ (in one guy’s own words) are their type. I feel like I have a pretty face. But I am definitely not the male gaze. In my fantasies, I’m exactly as I am now: Booming voice, hairy legs, stubbly head, baggy clothes. The only difference is that my fantasies are now about a man instead of a woman. Part of me just thinks he wouldn’t be able to like me the way I am.”
What do you think she should do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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