He Went Through His Wife’s Phone While She Was Asleep And Discovered She Had Been Having An Affair With Her Coworker
This 31-year-old man and his wife, 27, have been married for a little more than a year.
They have been together for more than six years in total.
Throughout their entire relationship, he believes that they always had a strong foundation of trust.
He and his wife own a home and two vehicles, and they have a dog.
While they don’t yet have children, he had been dreaming about trying to have children together this year.
Not long after he and his wife got married, she started conversing with a man she worked with, 27.
At first, he didn’t have an issue with this and didn’t think he had a reason to be concerned.
However, she quickly started communicating with her coworker all the time.
Then, he noticed that the amount of intimacy between him and his wife dramatically decreased. At the time, he didn’t believe that it was related to his wife talking to her coworker.
Yakobchuk Olena – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“She became more distant, and one day, while we were looking at TikToks on her phone, she immediately hid the notification from when he messaged her. I began to have doubts, so I went through her phone while she was asleep,” he said.
He was stunned to see that his wife had been conversing with her coworker every day for basically the entirety of their marriage.
While she was ignoring messages he sent her and didn’t engage with him, she was flirting back and forth with her coworker.
As he continued looking through the messages between his wife and her coworker, he saw that she had even sent photos of herself in a swimsuit to him.
“Some of the conversations ended abruptly and made no sense. I think she had been deleting messages. I freaked out and accused her of having an affair. She denied that anything had happened, told me our intimacy was bad because of me, and demanded we start therapy. She said I was overreacting and that they were friends. She accused me of violating her privacy,” he explained.
He agreed to attend therapy with his wife, and once their sessions began, he started to change his mind and believe that she was telling him the truth. He felt terrible for how he’d reacted when he went through his wife’s phone, and he said to her that it was fine if she wanted to maintain the friendship with her coworker. But he provided a stipulation, asking that he be able to know the man as well in order to feel more comfortable.
In order to improve their marriage, he began doing what she wanted during intimacy and learned how to be the one to start it.
“Then, I got an anonymous email from someone claiming to be her coworker. They said they saw my wife kiss that guy and outlined how intimate their interactions at work were. The email had contact information for the affair partner, but I couldn’t bring myself to confront him,” he shared.
After reading the email, he asked his wife, and she admitted that she kissed her coworker a couple of times, but she claimed that they never hooked up.
She continued, saying that she had previously lied when he’d asked her about the text messages between her and her coworker because she didn’t want him to leave her. Yet he noted that it didn’t seem genuine because it was clear that she was continuing to kiss and communicate with her coworker after he had already seen the suspicious text messages.
In his view, his wife was gaslighting him into thinking that this affair was all in his head.
They’ve had multiple conversations about the issue, and his wife continues to stand by her claim that she and her coworker have never hooked up, and she said that they have only hung out innocently both at work and outside of work.
He thinks her story sounds outrageous and clearly like a bunch of lies, and he feels silly for wanting to believe that she’s being honest with him.
His wife has repeatedly assured him that she cares about him, deeply loves him, and wants to see their marriage improve and last.
According to his wife, the affair was, at most, just an emotional one. During their conversations, she told him that he was who she wanted to be with, and if that hadn’t been the case, she would have separated from him and chosen to be with her coworker instead.
No matter what his wife says, he can’t shake the terrible feeling in his gut that she hooked up with her coworker and is lying about it. But he acknowledges that he doesn’t have any solid proof of it.
For every question he has in relation to her supposed friendship with her coworker, she always has an answer or explanation ready for him.
Since he didn’t see her cheating with his own eyes, he didn’t know for sure that he should ask for a separation.
It’s been two months since he received the anonymous email, and he still hasn’t decided where to go from here. His wife still repeatedly insists that she does love him, and she is always an emotional wreck when he discusses the possibility of a separation. But he knows that it’s obvious that she cheated on him.
Now, he still feels hung up on the uncertainty of whether or not his wife hooked up with her coworker. Even though she still claims to never have done so, he wants to know for sure. At this point, he isn’t sure if she’s being honest about it.
His wife has already lied to him and omitted details of what happened with her and her coworker, so he knows that she could still be lying.
Because he had already been thinking of starting a family with his wife soon, he wished that this whole situation could be resolved so that they could have the marriage and family he had been hoping for.
But at the same time, he would feel pitiful for remaining in this marriage. He doesn’t know if it’d be possible for his wife to regain his trust and for them to get back to the way their relationship used to be.
Throughout their talks, his wife has asked him not to tell his family, so he’s respected her wishes and has only really been able to talk about the ongoing situation in therapy sessions.
If he did go through with a separation, his wife would struggle financially more than he would. Currently, he has a higher salary than she does, and he believes that he is at a young enough age to bounce back from this setback pretty easily.
What would you do if you were in his shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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