She Thinks Her Husband Is Being Incredibly Selfish Because He Wants To Apply For A Job That Would Leave Her As A Single Parent For Two Months Just So He Can Live The Life He Wished For Before Having Kids
This 30-year-old woman and her husband, also 30, have been married for six and a half years.
They have been in a relationship for eight years in total.
She and her husband have a 4-year-old son and a 1-and-a-half-year-old together.
Her husband works for a car brand, and last week, he received the chance to attend a special training session.
Of course, she was thrilled for him, and she let him know that it was fine for him to go and she would keep things together at home in the meantime.
This week, she was taking care of their two children alone at their house. She had to bring her oldest child to school, drop her youngest child off at daycare, and do all of the other activities and household chores by herself.
While she acknowledges that single parents deal with these stresses each day, and she is aware that it’s just a part of their daily lives, she isn’t used to it since her husband normally helps her a lot. Over the past few days, it’s been overwhelming to deal with.
In total, she and her children talked to her husband via video chat for half an hour while he was away.
“It was heartbreaking to hear our daughter run around the house yelling ‘Dadda’ because she heard a lawn mower (my husband is OBSESSED with his grass, so he’s always working on it). He came home last night, and my children were thrilled he was home. We came inside, and he was home for all of about five minutes before saying, ‘What would you say if I told you I wanted to do this for eight weeks a year and be on a traveling team?'” she said.
Suthida – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Understandably, she was upset that he hadn’t even started unpacking from his trip or given her a hug or kiss, and the moment he came home, he asked if she was okay with him leaving all over again.
She told her husband how she felt, and he got mad, telling her that she was raining on his parade and the wonderful time he had and he asked why she was starting an argument right when he got home.
Over the course of the rest of the night, her husband went on and on about what a fantastic time he had and how much knowledge he gained, adding that he wanted to keep traveling for work since it was so much fun.
Every time her husband started talking about his trip, she walked out and went to another room to do something because she didn’t want to say anything else that would upset him.
“We put the kids to bed and went to bed ourselves when he said, ‘How would you feel about moving out of state to be closer to this? I was annoyed. I have attempted bringing up moving out of state to my husband in recent months due to the possibility of a HUGE promotion at work, but he always said, ‘His life is here, his work and family are here, this is where he knows,’ but now all of a sudden he’s open to it only if we can move to this location where this travel team is based out of,” she explained.
However, she isn’t positive that the state he wants to move to would work with the promotion she might be offered. It’s a possibility, but she wouldn’t have a say in the matter (she works as an active-duty service member of the military).
She didn’t say anything in response to her husband’s question, and she just went to sleep, but she wished she had told him how self-centered she felt it was for him to want to travel so much when he has obligations at home that he’d be leaving her to deal with alone.
Since he brought up the idea of moving the family for his job, they haven’t talked again about the idea. But she assumes that whenever they do, it’ll turn into an argument. She predicted that her husband would tell her it’s a wonderful chance for them and that he thinks she should be encouraging him to take this opportunity. Plus, she thinks that if she doesn’t encourage him to go forward with it, he’s going to be furious and feel bitter.
“If I tell him to go for it because that is what he wants, I’m signing up for eight weeks a year (potentially scattered throughout a six-seven-month period and not necessarily all at once) where I am working full-time, taking care of two small children, shuttling back and forth, all home responsibilities, and being a full-time master’s student. I am two-thirds through my program, so it’s not like I just started it or started it to keep him from going,” she shared.
She has been working on her master’s for the last year and a half.
Even though she’s happy that her husband enjoyed his work trip, she believes that it’s unfair to their children and to her if he decides to go forward with the plan to move their family and then travel often throughout the year without even considering her perspective.
Each time she envisions the discussion she and her husband are going to have about the topic, she feels anxious beyond belief.
In her view, if her husband decides to continue traveling for work, it’ll be the start of him traveling even more often. She predicted that he’d jump at the chance to travel even more than eight weeks a year, which would lead to more arguments between the two of them.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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