She Wants To Go On The “Trip Of A Lifetime” With Her Husband To Her Cousin’s Wedding On The Other Side Of The World, But Her Parents Don’t Think She Should Leave Her Kids Behind
The past year has been tough for this 38-year-old woman and her husband, 40.
Her husband had a major surgery, and over the past six months, she has been taking care of their children, 2 and 6, while also taking care of her husband while he’s been in recovery. Plus, she works full-time.
Once in a while, her parents lend a hand, but since they’re in their 70s, she doesn’t want them to overdo it. Usually, she’s only asked them to watch the children one time per week for only about two hours each time. The rest of the time, the children are in daycare while she’s working.
This past week, a cousin that she is close with sent her a wedding invitation.
“The wedding is next year, on the other side of the world from us. It was a trip of a lifetime, basically. We decided we should treat ourselves for once and go,” she said.
When she first told her parents about their plans to attend this wedding, they seemed fine with the idea and acted as though they were thrilled for them.
However, that quickly changed when her parents called a few days ago.
They informed her that ever since they’d told them about their upcoming travel plans, her mother had a “full-blown panic attack” at the thought that they would leave their children behind while they took a trip so far away from where they lived.
Her parents continued, letting her know that they didn’t want to take care of their children while they were traveling to the wedding.
Galina Zhigalova – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She hadn’t even been planning on asking them to do so, and she told her parents that she and her husband already secured daycare from some other relatives.
Despite telling her parents this, they said that even though they wouldn’t be watching the children, they would still feel like the children’s well-being was their personal responsibility. They added that if there was an emergency, she and her husband would be too far away to do anything in a hurry.
After that, her parents told her that she and her husband should change their minds and not take the trip.
She mentioned the idea of her sister-in-law watching their children during the trip since she has children who are in the same age range, and all the children love hanging out together. However, her parents rejected this option and insisted that the children wouldn’t have fun, and they claimed that they would have to be the ones who would end up watching the children.
“I feel totally disrespected as a daughter and mother. I was made to feel guilty for upsetting my mother and for considering leaving my kids for a week,” she explained.
It turned out that her mother couldn’t cope with her panic over the idea of her and her husband taking a trip across the world while leaving their children behind for a few days. Before knowing that they’d already secured plans for childcare, she was thinking that she would be watching the children during their trip. She didn’t feel like she would be able to do it, and she worried that she would have another panic attack while the children were in her care.
According to her mother, the children wouldn’t have fun anywhere but at her house, so because of that, she felt like the only logical option would be for her to care for them.
“I said that I understood her anxiety around it, but that was HER problem and not mine to fix. Canceling the trip is not the solution to taking away her anxiety. I also told her how we had already sat down with my sister-in-law to make a plan to settle the kids gradually over the next few months so they’d be comfortable going there. And we also had two other people as backups, neither of which were my parents,” she shared.
Even though she was as clear and reassuring as she could be about how much she and her husband are planning ahead for their children’s well-being and making sure they’re in the best possible care, her parents weren’t convinced.
Now, her parents have been talking to her siblings and one of her aunts, whom they persuaded to take their side on the issue and agree that she and her husband should cancel their plans to attend the wedding.
Because so many of her family members are against the idea, she doesn’t know if she and her husband should go through with the trip.
Some of these family members will be attending the wedding, and she doesn’t want them to look down on her and her husband or criticize them for their choice.
But in her eyes, this trip would bring her and her husband so much joy, and she doesn’t want them to miss out on that opportunity.
After all of the drama, she’s considering going no-contact with her family.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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