Her Daughter’s Best Friend’s Family Keeps Buying Her Daughter Gifts Since She’s In A Tough Financial Situation, But While She Appreciates The Gestures, It’s Making Her Very Uncomfortable
This 24-year-old woman has been raising her 10-year-old niece, Alice, and she’s been doing so since Alice was only 5 months old.
Essentially, even though Alice isn’t her biological daughter, and she hasn’t legally adopted her, she feels like her daughter.
Sadly, Alice’s biological mother abandoned her five months after giving birth to her.
After that, Alice’s mother continued visiting but stopped by the time Alice was 1 year old.
Since then, Alice hasn’t seen her biological mother.
Unfortunately, her brother, Alice’s father, struggled with substance abuse up until two or three years ago.
He has barely reached out to Alice over the years, and he’s currently on parole in a different state.
Her brother has stated that he is going to move to their state so that he can take over custody of Alice once he’s comfortable with his new life after he’s no longer on parole.
For a year, she and her boyfriend lived in an apartment together, and both worked full-time jobs. They struggled financially and would spend their whole paychecks just before the next payday. Once in a while, they would run out of money before their next paychecks came in, so they would have to ask their family members if they could borrow money.
leszekglasner – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
At the time, she was ineligible to receive SNAP benefits because her income was too high, but she and her boyfriend also dealt with food insecurity.
Luckily, Alice was part of a program offered at her school that gave snacks and food to students so that their families had enough to eat over the weekends.
Even though Alice’s school didn’t provide a huge amount of food, it did help them get by. They were able to have a good supply of Ramen on hand, as well as snacks for Alice.
Plus, Alice was able to eat free meals at school the majority of the time, so this meant that she was able to eat free breakfast and lunch at school and then a snack or an inexpensive dinner at her house.
On Alice’s school bus rides, she met a new friend named Sarah, 9.
Sarah invited Alice to her birthday party, so she drove her to the party.
When she dropped Alice off at Sarah’s house, she was introduced to Sarah’s family, and all of them were very sweet and personable. They gushed about how wonderful Alice was.
“It was very nice, and I was comfortable with Alice spending more time with Sarah outside of school whenever they wanted play dates. Sarah would invite Alice to everything, and if I said yes (which I almost always did), Sarah’s mom would pick them both up from the bus stop and return Alice at the end of the day,” she said.
She was thrilled that Alice was able to hang out with Sarah because this meant that she was able to have a break from being stuck in the apartment.
Usually, she and her boyfriend were way too tired to go out and do things with Alice.
Also, they often didn’t have the money to spend on fun activities, so most of the time, they just all watched TV together.
Now that Alice is spending so much time with Sarah, she has the opportunity to enjoy playing at parks and going to the pool.
“I would occasionally feel bad that Alice would tag along to things with them so often, but Sarah’s mom always assured me that Alice was just a delight, and they loved having her. Well, one day, after a play date, Sarah’s mom drops Alice off at the apartment and gives us a bunch of groceries. The mom insists that Sarah wouldn’t eat the food, so we had to take it, and some of it was stuff that Alice liked that they had gone to the store to buy her,” she explained.
Despite feeling grateful for the kind gesture, it made her incredibly uncomfortable.
When she told the story to her boyfriend and her mother, they felt the same way she did.
She’s attempted to get her mind off of it, but she can’t help but wonder how many details Alice has shared with Sarah and her family about their financial circumstances.
Not long ago, they moved into her boyfriend’s parents’ house.
To make their situation even more difficult, she was demoted from a full-time position to a substitute.
Since the move, she hasn’t been able to find a ride to work because her boyfriend’s parents’ house is further away from her work.
On the other hand, living with her boyfriend’s parents has helped them financially because they no longer have to worry about rent or other related living expenses, so they have been able to get by on just her boyfriend’s income.
Sarah invited Alice to go with her to a “‘Princess Ball'” that was taking place this weekend.
“It’s a decent drive away, and Alice doesn’t have anything to wear for it. I told Sarah’s mom that I was perfectly fine with Alice going and that I’d just have to look for some second-hand stores to get her a dress. Her mom asked for Alice’s size and said she’d keep an eye out. She then soon messaged me, saying that she found a dress for Alice because Sarah wants to match with her, so she’ll buy it for Alice, her treat,” she shared.
After that, Sarah’s mom sent her photos of a beautiful dress. She decided to look up the dress, and when she tracked down the dress on a website, she realized that the dress cost $70.
Once, she read a story about a mother who was dealing with a situation similar to the one she was in.
According to the story, the mother’s son made a friend, and his friend’s parents started purchasing things for him. Oftentimes, the stuff that his friend’s parents bought was pricey.
Later in the story, the mother explained that her son was invited on trips and for sleepovers.
Then, her son’s friend’s parents asked her if they could have custody of her son.
This story terrified her, and she couldn’t get it out of her head.
While she hopes that Sarah’s parents are just amazing people trying to spread kindness and support a child in a difficult financial situation, she feels a small sense of doubt.
She’s also worried that Sarah’s parents would one day report her and her boyfriend to CPS or even kidnap Alice.
These thoughts have started to consume her, and she’s scared and uncomfortable.
At the same time, she doesn’t want to make Alice stop hanging out with Sarah because this friendship is so beneficial for her.
She acknowledged that due to her anxiety disorder, she struggles with ruminating thoughts that take over. In her view, this is where her intense worry stems from.
Upon reflection, she thinks that her most significant problem is that she’s been too prideful and didn’t want to accept kind gestures from others.
She was also concerned that she was letting Alice down since she couldn’t afford to give her more fun experiences.
However, she won’t allow her anxious thoughts to affect Alice and Sarah’s friendship, which has been made possible by Sarah’s parents, who bring them to many fun places and events.
Moving forward, she’s planning to do some small activities with both Alice and Sarah so that she can feel like she’s reciprocating some time and effort. This could help her feel more comfortable.
Before the Princess Ball, she’s decided to take Alice and Sarah shopping for some pretty press-on nails to match their gorgeous dresses.
Alice and Sarah told her that they wanted her to take them to and from the ball, so she was thrilled to hang out with them.
What advice would you give her?
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