He’s A Psychiatrist Advising Parents To Stop Doing So Much For Their Kids Because “Rescuing” Them From Mistakes Will Not Make Them More Responsible Or Independent
Getting your kids ready for school on time is a battle most parents face every weekday morning. Aside from preparing themselves for the day ahead, parents have the daily routine of waking kids up, making sure they’re dressed appropriately, feeding them breakfast, and packing their backpacks with lunches and homework.
Richard Wadsworth (@doctorwadsworth) is a psychiatrist and a father of seven, and he’s on TikTok sharing about how he’s stopped doing all of the above for his kids while also advising parents to follow suit.
“I did not wake them up. I did not get their breakfast ready for them. I did not get them dressed,” Wadsworth started the video. “I did not do their laundry. I did not say a single word about anything that they needed to do in the morning.”
He then went on to say that he also did not inform his kids how much time they had before the school bus arrived or even tell them to do their homework the night before.
Usually, the idea of what a good parent looks like involves staying on top of your kids and ensuring that nothing is amiss with them, which means giving them instructions on what to do every day.
However, Wadsworth says that you’re not doing your children a favor by constantly “rescuing” them from making mistakes. He added that he had parented this way in the past, but it wasn’t beneficial for his kids or for himself.
“If you do everything for them and you don’t allow them to have any responsibilities, they will never become responsible,” he said.
His kids are completely independent when it comes to getting themselves ready for school. They do their own laundry, find their own food, and get to the bus, all without assistance from their parents.
He explained that his children know these tasks are their responsibilities, and when they fail to take care of them, there will be consequences.
goodluz – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“If they were to miss the bus and they needed me to give them a ride, it would cost them some money. They need to do chores to earn that, and that would only happen once,” said Wadsworth.
He believes that protecting your kids from experiencing natural consequences will only result in having a teenager who “doesn’t know how to wake up to their own alarm” and, eventually, an adult who can’t hold down a job because they’re always late.
At the end of the video, he stated that kids are more capable than adults give them credit for. It’s just that many kids think that tasks such as getting to the bus on time and making breakfast are their parents’ responsibilities, not their own. Once they realize it’s up to themselves, you won’t have to worry about taking on their duties anymore.
His parenting tip has caused quite a stir among people in the comments section. Some felt his methods were too extreme, while others agreed with his strategy.
“Absolutely NOT! That is why they become full of apathy, angry with the world, and unhappy. They are kids, and they deserve to be one,” commented one TikTok user.
“I grew up with a mom that did this. I grew up too fast and don’t even have memories of a childhood. I have nothing but horrible memories of her,” wrote another.
“Absolutely, bro! This is how I raise my daughter as a single dad, and it works great. I’ve never yelled at her to get her to do anything her whole life,” declared a third.
“Kudos. Mom of four here. They have been responsible to get themselves up and ready doing laundry and chores since they were very little,” chimed in someone else.
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