She Doesn’t Want To Help Care For Her Elderly Parents Anymore Because She Didn’t Receive Any Inheritance, But Her Two Brothers, Who Never Helped Out, Did
This woman’s grandmother sadly passed away and left her inheritance to be split equally between her grandmother’s two daughters: her mother and her aunt.
She had a very close bond with both her grandmother and grandfather.
The entire family was aware that she had a closer relationship with her grandparents than they had with their own daughters, and they were closer to her than they were to any of their other grandchildren.
From her perspective, she had a genuine friendship with her grandparents, and she was by their side if they needed her help.
She helped them with housework, took them to doctor’s appointments, cooked and cleaned for every holiday get-together, and stayed at the hospital with them whenever they had surgeries.
When she was cooking and cleaning for the holidays, other family members rarely pitched in.
Through it all, she was by their side, and she slept at the hospital during their surgeries and when they were going through their end-of-life journeys.
Her brother only lived five minutes away from their grandparents, but she was a three-hour drive away.
Each time she went to visit them, they had a long list of tasks they needed assistance with the moment she arrived.
Photo 57368775 © Wavebreakmedia Ltd – Dreamstime.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She loved getting together with her grandparents, and she never had an issue lending them a hand.
However, she wasn’t a fan of her family eating the pies she made each holiday while she cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes by herself, with no one offering to help her.
“When my mother received the money from my grandmother, she split it evenly between my mother’s grandchildren. I have no children. She left me out. How did I find out? My mother told me that she split the money four ways for her four grandchildren, saying that she thinks that my grandmother would like that. I immediately said, ‘So, you skipped me?'” she said.
On the multiple occasions that her grandparents had medical emergencies and needed hospitalization, she prioritized them over all else.
She stopped whatever she was doing, drove to them, booked herself a hotel, and postponed her work for the business she owned.
Despite everything she did for them, she never felt like she was owed anything, and she has no regrets.
If she could go back in time, she would make the same choices and help her grandparents as much as possible.
However, being excluded was a stab in the back for her. She knows that her grandparents would have never wanted this, and she also is aware that they would never want her to be upset.
Her two brothers each have two children, and she and her husband have struggled to have children of their own.
Because her mother knew that she was hurt to be left out of her grandmother’s inheritance, her mother informed her several days later that she had a change of plans and was going to use her portion of the inheritance for home renovations.
But she pointed out that she was never angry that her niece and her nephews were receiving some of the money. Her issue was that she was being excluded.
Later, she learned from her aunt, who had been in charge of managing her grandmother’s finances, that her mother wasn’t being honest with her.
“She still has the accounts for her grandchildren. I am furious that my mom lied to me. I have not confronted her about this. My parents have a lot more money than my grandparents ever had. It’s not like this is my mom’s one chance to leave them something,” she explained.
Since her parents have three children, all of whom have their own families, she wonders why her family (which consists of her and her husband) was not included in the split of her mother’s portion of her grandmother’s inheritance.
She clarified that her husband doesn’t care about her parents’ money, and he would prefer it if they didn’t have a lot of money.
In her view, this situation is unfair because she is the one who helps anyone in her family at the drop of a hat. She makes hospital visits, researches care facilities, and does her best to offer support.
Her brothers and sisters-in-law only offer help when there is something in it for them, so they don’t provide much support to the family.
They never make trips to family members when there are emergencies, and even though they’re in a better place than she is to provide help to others, they usually choose not to.
Over the years, she has helped out her parents as much as she was able to because that’s the type of person she is.
Plus, she has always known that no other family members will offer to help, or if they do, it’s in their own way and because they want to gain something from it. This means that these family members left her to do most of the work in the end.
“I am so hurt about this that I do not want to go out of my way for my mom if she needs anything. I am worried that this is going to be the same when my parents pass away. I do all the gritty work, spend money, give time, put my life and business on hold, and get skipped by them in the future,” she shared.
Now, she’s unsure of where she should go from here. Even though she hasn’t had a discussion with her mother about her feelings, she wonders if she should.
Understandably, she is crushed that her mother lied to her and feels like she’s losing her mind over it.
In her view, she no longer wants to bend over backward to help take care of her parents in their old age when her mother purposely excluded her from her grandmother’s inheritance.
Later, her mother called her, and during their conversation, her mother asked what she wanted for Christmas.
She was honest and said that she wanted the family to help her do the dishes after Christmas dinner.
In response, her mother said, “‘Fat chance.'” Not long after that, her people told her that someone was knocking at her front door and ended the call.
This year, they’re having dinner at her other grandmother’s house, who is 95 years old.
If she doesn’t clean up after everyone else during Christmas, her grandmother’s house will be a complete disaster, which is what happened over the holidays when they celebrated at her late grandmother’s house.
Sometimes, if she’s not at family gatherings at her grandmother’s house, her family doesn’t pitch in to clean up, and her grandmother doesn’t voice her frustration about them leaving her house in disarray.
However, her grandfather told off her family members for their rudeness.
During her late grandparents’ hospitalizations, none of her family members ever showed up to visit them.
She never wanted to leave the hospital because it broke her heart to leave them all by themselves. Her family’s selfishness was infuriating, in her opinion.
For so many years, she has been supporting her grandparents, who were no longer able to take care of themselves, but no one has ever helped her when she needed it.
While she wishes she could just take her grandmother for their own Christmas celebration, she obviously can’t.
Last Christmas, her grandmother was devastated because one of her aunts didn’t show up. She’s worried that her aunt will be absent for this Christmas, too. Before she was even born, her grandmother hosted Christmas Eve dinner at her house with her children, and when her children got married and had kids of their own, she continued this tradition.
While her grandparents were alive, they constantly expressed their gratitude for everything she did for them. She knows that the treatment she’s received is not what they would have wanted for her.
Before her grandmother’s passing, no one knew that she would be giving her daughters her money. All that the family wanted was for her grandmother to be financially stable enough to enjoy her life.
She plans to do all she can to continue helping her other grandmother, but she is done helping everyone else in her family.
Plus, she pointed out that her family seems to believe that because she doesn’t have children, she should be the one putting in more effort to help the family, which she doesn’t think is fair.
According to her family, because she doesn’t have children, she not only deserves to receive less, but at times, she doesn’t deserve anything at all, considering the situation with her grandmother’s inheritance. She reiterated that she doesn’t care about the money itself, but she is hurt that her mother lied and excluded her when she is the one who did the most to be by her grandmother’s side.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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