She Expected To Split The Bill At Her Birthday Dinner With Her Friends, But One Of Her Friends Thought That Was Poor Etiquette And That She Should’ve Just Paid Since She Was The Host
One month ago, this woman invited some of her close friends to celebrate her birthday at a mid-level restaurant.
They all had a blast at her birthday dinner, and the majority of her friends brought gifts for her, even though she didn’t expect or ask them to, so that was a nice surprise. Not all of her friends knew each other too well.
“I covered the alcohol consumed (one bottle of bubbly and one bottle of red) as a treat for my friends and split the food bill evenly amongst seven people (including me). This arrangement was conveyed at the beginning of the meal,” she said.
One of her friends, Molly, showed up at the restaurant an hour late. Their dinner reservation was for 8 p.m., and Molly got to the restaurant at 9 p.m.
When she arrived, there was still a lot of food and drinks at the table. Molly ordered one drink but didn’t order any more food for herself.
When the bill came, she paid it. The following day, she evenly divided the total amongst herself and her friends, leaving out one friend who hadn’t been feeling good and didn’t drink anything or eat much. In total, she rounded down and asked each of her friends for $30.
“The food bill was not expensive because I also got a staff discount, and some items were comped for my birthday,” she explained.
“Everyone paid except for Molly. I reminded her a month later, and she told me her concerns about the bill and that she was surprised by the bill split the next day since she’s a guest and I’m the host, and she had brought me a gift.”
Molly added that it wasn’t her decision to order the alcohol and food in the first place.
Photo 94643961 © Shao-chun Wang – Dreamstime.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
In response, she told Molly that since she arrived at dinner late, that was the reason she didn’t get to choose what everyone ordered.
From Molly’s perspective, since she organized her own birthday dinner and invited everyone, she should have been the one to pay the entire bill since she was the host. Molly thought it was rude for her to expect her friends to split the bill with her.
While she understood Molly’s point of view, she thought it was a kind gesture to pay for the alcohol for her friends, especially considering the fact that she doesn’t have a job right now, which Molly was aware of.
Also, she made sure that the bill for the food was as inexpensive as possible.
She pointed out that if she had hosted a party at her house and catered food, she would have paid for everything herself.
But because her birthday dinner was at a restaurant instead, she thought that it made more sense to split the bill.
According to Molly, when she invited everyone to dinner, she should have made it clear from the beginning that they were going to be expected to chip in for the meal.
In retrospect, she wonders if she should have done this, but when she organized the dinner, she didn’t think it was necessary to do so.
“I always go to dinner parties (at restaurants) expecting to pay my share, and it’s always a nice surprise if the host treats us to a round of drinks or covers part/most of the bill. I will always bring a gift as a proper etiquette,” she shared.
She isn’t sure if Molly, being from a different culture, plays a part in their difference of opinion.
A bit ago, she and Molly attended brunch at a restaurant for a mutual friend’s birthday, and everyone chipped in for the woman whose birthday they were celebrating.
They live in Singapore, so the customs are mostly Asian, but in regard to money, the customs are more Westernized.
At most of the birthday dinners she’s been to for other friends, the custom is usually for the guests to pay for the birthday girl, even when the birthday girl is the one organizing the dinner. All of the guests split the bill, just like she did for her birthday dinner.
Even if she’d wanted to, she wouldn’t have been able to afford to foot the entire bill for all of her friends.
From now on, she plans to be clear when she invites friends to events about the plan for the bill.
In her view, she and Molly just had a misunderstanding, and she doesn’t fault Molly for her differing thoughts on the situation.
What would you have done if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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