She’s Doing Her Best To Be Active In Her Stepkids’ Lives Without Overstepping And Acting Like Their Mom, But Her Husband’s Ex Is Still Angry And Thinks She’s Too Involved
One year ago, this 26-year-old woman and her husband, 30, got married.
Her husband has two children, a 13-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son, from a previous relationship.
He and his ex dated in high school.
During their senior year, she got pregnant, and three years later, they had their son in an attempt to keep their relationship together.
But three years after the birth of their son, when their daughter was 6, her husband and his ex officially broke up, and they now have a 50/50 custody agreement.
Not long ago, their custody agreement was adjusted because her husband has more time off of work because he doesn’t have to be on-call as often anymore.
For quite a while, his ex tried to limit the amount of custody he was allowed to only be on the weekends, but the judge rejected this proposal, stating that 50/50 custody would be more appropriate.
So, her husband and his ex have had a 50/50 custody agreement for the past three years.
She works for the historical research department of a university in their area, while her husband works as a plastic surgeon.
Amelia Fox – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“He balanced weekend custody with medical school and is debt-free due to outstanding scholarships and grants. He also did a program where you get your MD and do your residency at the same time. I work less hours than my husband does, so I’m home more often,” she said.
She acknowledged that she is not her stepchildren’s biological mother, and she doesn’t think they should feel at all obligated to treat her like a mother figure.
Since her husband’s daughter was 9-years-old, she’s been passionate about playing basketball, and she’s a really talented athlete.
This is something she has in common with her husband’s daughter because she also has a passion for the sport. She also played basketball when she was a child.
“I asked her if she would like me to be the assistant coach for her team, and she said yes. I asked the director, and he okayed my new position,” she explained.
Her stepson, on the other hand, is shier than his sister. He enjoys reading rather than participating in sports.
Since her stepson loves books, she gave him a book series as a gift that she’d read when she was about his age, and he’s been breezing through them.
They often hang out together and discuss the books whenever he is interested in doing so, and she’s happy to have something in common with her stepson so they can bond.
“Other than that, I try to keep my distance. I don’t discipline or enforce rules. I help with homework and studying for tests,” she explained.
Not long ago, she began packing lunches for her husband to eat during his stays at the hospital on his 24-hour on-call shifts, which he has twice a month.
Once her stepchildren saw the food she was preparing for her husband, they asked if she could pack their lunches for them whenever they stayed with them, and she told them she could.
“I don’t take on any parental tasks unless the kids ask me to do so. I want to be a good stepmom, but I know I’m not their mom. Recently, their mom has been cold to me and is increasingly snappy. She doesn’t like that I make the kids’ lunch, or that I gave my stepson the books, or that I’m coaching my stepdaughter this season,” she shared.
Now, she feels like she’s caught in the middle, and wonders if she’s been doing more than she should as a stepmother.
As a child, her parents weren’t present in her life so she wants her stepchildren to know that she supports them and cares about them.
She wants to be a wonderful stepmother while making sure not to upset anyone or step on any toes.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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