After four years of marriage, this 30-year-old man has filed for divorce from his wife, who is 30, and they live in Turkey. He works in an incredibly specialized, particular field.
Last year, work was tough because of the economy, and he and several co-workers were unfortunately laid off. It was bad timing because he’d just finished refurbishing their house and accumulated debt.
His wife worked throughout their marriage, but when he lost his job, she earned a lower income than him. After the layoff, he told his wife the news and requested that she financially support him while he looked for a new job. He also suggested they sell some of the gold they’d received on their wedding day.
“There is a tradition of giving gold to newlyweds to help them financially. These are meant to be used during difficult times. She rejected the idea and said, ‘I do not want to sell my gold,'” he said.
During the conversation, he explained that paying off his debt would make them more financially comfortable. But his wife still told him she didn’t want to sell their gold, adding that he needed to figure out his financial situation on his own.
Before he was laid off, he paid most of their monthly expenses, and his wife saved most of her income.
“I asked her to at least use some of her savings, and I can pay it back. I let her save most of her earnings because women are more vulnerable to financial changes than men here,” he explained.
He knew it was important for his wife to have enough savings and start a retirement account. Even though he promised he’d pay back whatever he borrowed from her savings, she told him she wouldn’t loan him any money.
The months of unemployment were a dark period in his life, and he was depressed. He started thinking deeply about his future. Prior to losing his job, his marriage was wonderful, and he’d assumed their relationship would last through the good and bad times.
Luckily, his older sister chipped in for monthly payments on his debt, and at the beginning of this year, he happily accepted a fantastic new job in the same field.
“I could not look at my wife in the same way after what happened and started divorce talks with a lawyer friend of mine. Last month, I let her know my decision, and she was served with divorce papers soon after,” he shared.
His wife was stunned when he told her he’d be filing for divorce. She attempted to persuade him to change his mind, but he wasn’t swayed. In Turkey, family members weigh in on one another’s big life decisions, so their families intervened as middlemen at his wife’s request.
However, he wouldn’t be happy in a marriage with someone who refused to help him financially during tough times, especially when trying to be responsible and pay down debt. Most of his family is on his side, but they asked him if he’d reconsider the divorce.
While he acknowledged that he and his wife didn’t have any other issues in their marriage, he couldn’t move past how she treated him when he lost his job.
What would you have done if you were in his shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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