He Just Started A Trial Separation With His Wife, And It’s Clear To Him Divorce Is The Only Option
This man and his wife have many problems in their marriage, but once upon a time, he thought she was the perfect woman for him.
He didn’t tie the knot with his wife because he thought she was the best he could do – he married her because he thought their future was bright, and he was madly in love with her.
His wife was diagnosed with a chronic illness a couple of years into dating, and he felt it was his duty to remain by her side and do everything he could to help her.
Over time, his wife’s health improved, yet she kept on treating him like her caregiver instead of her husband. She then began putting him down and comparing him to her male coworkers, telling him that these men were more handsome, emotional, and stronger than he was.
But one day, his wife brought up these other men and how they were so much better than him while threatening to file for divorce.
That was the wake-up call he needed to finally be able to acknowledge that his wife was cruel, not loving, and she wasn’t treating him the way he wanted to be treated.
He could see that he was imagining their marriage to be far better than it was. Ever since then, he’s been interested in separating from his wife, and he just moved ahead with that.
“She begged, apologized, threatened, and guilted as much as she could, but I stood my ground, and she eventually agreed to a two-week physical separation,” he explained.
They’re one week into the trial separation, and he feels incredible. He’s quit stress eating, and he’s making healthy meals for himself.
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He’s feeling free in that he can participate in the things he likes without his wife making him feel bad about it or saying he’s cheating on her.
So, he’s been playing video games and relaxing or tailgating with all of his friends. He’s also begun working out much more.
He’s found new confidence in himself. He’s chit-chatting with strangers, and when he went out to a bar, a girl surprisingly hit on him.
“I, of course, declined, but wow, I felt so handsome for the first time in months,” he added. “Generally, [I] just have more time for myself.”
“I’m no longer cleaning up her messes all day, picking her dirty underwear off the floor, cooking for her, doing her laundry, acting like her therapist. I just have to take care of myself and don’t need to parent her.”
“When she calls, my heart sinks. Every time she calls, she shames me and threatens all the bad things that will happen to me or happen to her. The fear, obligation, and guilt all come back in a flash, and I don’t feel better until I finish the conversation and hang up. It always feels like the better I get, the more she shames me.”
So, here he is, loving life without his wife. It’s made him realize that divorce is the best option for him, and although he used to get anxious about it, that’s no longer the case.
What advice do you have for him?
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