She Filed For Divorce And Moved Out, But Her Husband Still Foolishly Thinks He Can Save Their Marriage
There absolutely is such a thing as too little, too late, and this woman is well past the point of feeling that way with her husband.
Her husband has been in her life for the last five years, and his first wife sadly passed away one year before she met him.
Back then, her husband’s kids were two and four, and he was having a tough time playing single dad. It wasn’t so much that her husband was experiencing issues with the parenting part- it was that he felt isolated and sad that he no longer had a companion.
Seven months into dating her husband, he introduced her to his children, and everything seemed to be fine. But then, when his late wife’s family found out about her spending time with the kids, they took issue with it.
“My husband told me it would blow over, and it was difficult for them to hear the kids were bonding with another woman,” she explained.
“It wasn’t until after we got married 2 years ago when I started to feel like it wasn’t going to blow over. The kids were acting out with me far more. We didn’t have any real issues before.”
“Sure, they were kids and didn’t always listen, but it felt pretty evenly dispersed between my husband and myself when it came to not listening. But it was clear after a point that it was now happening to me far more than my husband.”
She then got pregnant with her son and while her husband was happy, his kids were so upset. People in her life reassured her that her husband’s kids just needed time to come around to another addition.
She sat down with her husband and discussed her fears. Her husband promised he would step in to help smooth things over with the kids, but that never happened.
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When she addressed her concerns a second time, he simply dismissed her, and from there, he stopped pulling his weight.
Now, every two weeks, her husband’s kids see their mom’s family members. Her husband was always the one to give them a ride over there, yet suddenly, he dumped this responsibility on her.
“The kids started saying the whole you’re not our mom thing to me. They told me I couldn’t tell them what to do,” she added.
“My husband heard them say it, and he’d say nothing, and when I did, they got more angry. One time, while I was pregnant, I asked if they’d carry their dirty dishes so I could wash up, and they said no, and they didn’t have to listen to me.”
“I told them I was the adult in charge so they did, and it was a simple request and one I knew they were capable of. They told me their real mom’s family said they didn’t have to and that I was a stupid [girl] who was trying to take them away. I tried to sit down and explain I didn’t want to take them away from anyone or upset anyone, but I was another person who loved them.”
The kids walked off in a huff, and when she filled her husband in on what had gone down, he did nothing. He didn’t see the problem.
After she gave birth to her son, her home situation got worse. She asked her husband for family therapy and marriage counseling on top of that, and she pleaded with him to listen, or their marriage would continue to decline.
Her husband didn’t feel it was necessary to go to therapy. He responded that the kids would calm down, eventually.
At that point, she still had to drive his kids to their grandparents, and if she happened to not be able to do that, the grandparents would act like she was some kind of villain.
When the kids would come home from their visits, they acted even more atrociously to her.
One of her close friends lost one of her parents when she was little, going on to have a stepparent, and she weighed in.
Her friend insisted that if her husband was going to fail to make his kids treat her better, she had no choice but to pack her bags and leave him.
“She said there was a good chance my son would grow up in a very unhappy home if nothing changed and that I’d be miserable, more than I am now, if I stayed,” she said.
“I tried to make it work. I tried to have another talk with my stepkids. I tried to insist on marriage counseling again. I got nowhere, and it was still getting worse. To add to it, the kids reject their baby brother.”
“There was no magical baby winning them over like others had mentioned, not that I really believed in that, but I wanted to think it could happen. I also wanted to believe things could get better. But without my husband on [my] side? I know it won’t.”
Shortly after Christmas, she threw the towel in. She boxed up her belongings and moved into her mom and dad’s house along with her son.
The following day, she filed to divorce her husband. Even though she moved out of the house and made a move to make the divorce official, her husband didn’t think she was serious.
Several weeks later, it dawned on her husband that she was not playing games here, so he told her everything she had been wanting to hear from him.
He even made a promise that he would pitch in and fix everything, but that should have been his response from the beginning.
“I told him he was too late with all of that. He said we built a family, and the kids couldn’t lose another mom,” she continued.
“Even his parents, who never paid much attention to me, reached out and told me I couldn’t do this to the kids, and we needed to make it work. That it’s never too late when kids are involved.”
She’s left wondering if she was mean to inform her husband that he’s too late and he’s losing her for good.
What do you think, and should she give her husband a second chance?
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