She Wants To Ask Her Daughter To Quit Talking About Her Late Little Brother, As It’s Too Painful For Her To Relive
This 39-year-old woman is a mom to three children; a 6-year-old son, a 12-year-old daughter, and a 15-year-old daughter.
When her oldest daughter was two, she gave birth to another little boy. Sadly, he passed away four days later.
“He had an undiagnosed congenital heart defect. It completely wrecked me. My husband and I both coped by not coping,” she explained.
“He became a workaholic and I just tried to put it out of my mind. Our family doesn’t bring him up, I don’t have any pictures in the house.”
Her oldest daughter doesn’t recall her late little brother, but lately, she’s been asking some questions about him. She’s done her best to answer everything, but her daughter continues to talk about him.
She’s exhausted all the information she can provide her daughter with, and now they’re continuously talking about the same exact details in every conversation.
Many of the questions her daughter asks her are super painful, and lack a concrete answer. It’s hard for her to be on this loop.
“She keeps asking why his defect wasn’t caught in time. At times she insinuates we could have done more,” she said.
“It wasn’t caught at the hospital because, at that time, pulse ox screening for newborns wasn’t standard. Even if it had been caught he would have had a short, horrible life full of surgeries and pain. It’s too hard for me to keep going over this with her.”
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“At one point she asked me what he looked like when I found him. I snapped at her and told her it was not appropriate and none of her business. I was pretty harsh and her feelings were hurt. Later I felt bad about shutting her down. He was her brother but I still feel like that was a really callous thing to ask casually.”
Her daughter appears to be upset about how she and her husband dealt with their grief. Also, her daughter keeps questioning her about whether she still cares about the little boy at all or if he crosses her mind.
She has come up with responses to the multitude of questions, so she’s left wondering if it would make her mean to tell her daughter to quit talking about her late brother.
Her daughter has a way of interjecting her questions into everyday tasks that really catch her off guard.
What do you think she should do?
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