Her Boyfriend’s Going On Vacation With His Female Best Friend To A Cabin In The Woods, And She Feels It’s Inappropriate
For this 29-year-old woman, it’s extremely triggering for her to date men who have close female best friends. Four years ago, she was seeing a guy whom she met through work, and they had an amazing relationship.
However, problems arose with his female best friend. Her boyfriend at the time and his best friend would say ‘I love you’ to one another.
They also would sit on the other person’s lap, and they were so touchy-feely that it made her uncomfortable. She thought they were crossing lines, and she requested that her boyfriend put up some boundaries, but he failed to do that.
She actually ended up sending her boyfriend’s best friend a note because she was so hurt, and that made things spiral.
She and that guy ultimately broke up, and she now has a new boyfriend, whom she also happened to meet through her job. They started out as friends, and four months ago, they began officially dating.
He’s generous and sweet, but now they have a big problem: his best female friend, 30-year-old Olivia, who is bringing up all of those triggering feelings from her past that she will never be in first place.
“Olivia, who lives in another state (my boyfriend’s home state, where he moved from almost a year ago) and knows about me, invited herself for his birthday weekend this Memorial Day weekend and booked a cabin just for the two of them (Friday–Monday),” she explained.
“She’s shown no interest in meeting me, and though I was initially supportive, I now feel excluded and confused.”
“He’s said multiple times that he doesn’t even want to go—that he feels trapped, suspects she might have romantic feelings, and wouldn’t normally hang out with her this long. But he’s going anyway because he feels bad—she has chronic health issues and recently lost her dog.”
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She’s frustrated and sad that her boyfriend is agreeing to go away alone with Olivia. She isn’t trying to make her boyfriend’s world revolve around her, but she can’t figure out why he would put Olivia above her.
He does not appear to be that close to Olivia, and additionally, she told her boyfriend how upset she is, yet he’s still choosing to go on the trip.
She wishes she could be the cool girlfriend who supports all of this, but her boyfriend is being so disrespectful, in her opinion.
She’s left wondering how she can address this with her boyfriend before he leaves in a way that doesn’t make her look controlling and crazy.
What advice do you have for her?
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