It’s one thing to discover your spouse cheated, but it’s another to watch them reframe the fallout into something that makes no emotional or practical sense for you.
In her case, she agreed to take time apart so both of them could process the betrayal and eventually try therapy, but instead of honoring that plan, he blindsided her with divorce papers… while still asking to keep the intimacy and day-to-day connection of marriage without the actual commitment.
It’s a request that sounds less like reconciliation and more like a setup that exclusively benefits him, and she’s left wondering if this is love or just another way for him to control her.
For the last five years, this woman has been married to her husband, and they have two little kids together. Unfortunately, three years ago, her husband had a one-night stand while she was actually home on maternity leave.
She didn’t take the news well when she found out, and making it even worse, her husband refused to give her all of the details she wanted.
He withheld the information she expected him to give her, and she was so blindsided when he confessed to cheating in the first place.
“I tried to forgive and move on, but the simple lack of empathy and blame for his affair took its toll and changed me into this person I didn’t even recognize,” she explained.
“I couldn’t trust him, I resented him, the list goes on. Anyway, I finally decided we needed time apart, and I moved out with our children.”
A bit more than a month after separating, her husband served her with divorce papers, and she completely melted down.
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She was under the impression that they were going to take some time apart in order to heal, then they would start therapy individually, as well as attend marriage counseling.
This was what they had already agreed upon, so she could not believe that her husband had changed his mind without giving her any notice.
“To top it all off, he wants to divorce but still be together. Wants me to move back in with the kids, still sleep together, and basically date but not be married,” she continued.
“I can’t make sense of this, and it’s absolutely blowing my mind. I just need some insight into what this man is thinking.”
“Because I’m ready to sign the papers, have a good co-parenting relationship, and just move on. I feel like I’m just being messed with mentally.”
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
