She Found Her Grandma’s Diaries And Realized She Had Been Praying For Her Death
This woman and her grandmother always had a tight-knit relationship, from the time she was a little girl up until the day her grandmother passed away.
But it wasn’t until about a year later, when she discovered some old diaries, that she realized her grandmother actually hated her and had been praying for her death the whole time.
Her shocking story began following her father’s passing, which happened when she was still very young. Her dad’s death meant that she was raised by her then-single mom, and her mom became really preoccupied with work.
That’s why she and her grandmother on her father’s side got so close. They were the only family they really had left, and she’d frequently walk over to her grandmother’s home in middle school to spend time together.
“She cherished me. But my mother never came with me to visit her. I don’t think she got along well with my grandma,” she recalled.
Together, they also developed a Sunday morning routine and went to church every week. Her grandmother was devout and never missed a church service, no matter what was going on outside.
She remembers watching her grandmother clasp her hands together, lower her head, and close her eyes as she prayed for a while each Sunday.
“Every time we left, I’d ask, ‘What did you pray for?’ But she’d just smile and never tell me. I didn’t think much of it. I was just looking forward to the ice cream she’d always buy me on the way home as we chatted,” she explained.
Despite the strong church presence in her life, though, she was always riddled with paranormal activity ever since she was a young girl.
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She experienced sleep paralysis that eventually turned into chronic insomnia. Plus, when she finally fell asleep, she’d feel something pressing on her stomach or touching her feet. The sensations only worsened as she grew older.
At the time, her mother brought her to various spiritual healers and psychics. But honestly, they just charged high fees and never truly helped.
So, they gave up, and by her third year of middle school, the strange phenomena had intensified.
“I was in multiple car accidents. I had nightly sleep paralysis. I started hallucinating, seeing bugs or strands of hair in my food. Eventually, my mental health collapsed. I stopped going to school,” she detailed.
While she was home and her mother was working, her grandmother would come over, hold her hand, and sit beside her for hours. She viewed the time they spent together as her only respite.
Nonetheless, her mental health continued to worsen, and she even tried to take her own life multiple times. Each attempt failed, however, and while she thought that she didn’t want to live anymore, she realized that she couldn’t die, either.
Then, everything suddenly changed. Soon after she graduated from middle school, her grandmother died, and the loss hit her extremely hard. She locked herself in her grandmother’s old room, clung to her clothes, and cried her heart out.
“My mom still went to work with the same calm face as always. I knew she was supporting me financially, and I was grateful. But part of me resented her, too,” she admitted.
Still, about two weeks after her grandmother’s death, she noticed something: all the paranormal activity in her life stopped. And while talking to a friend about it, they suggested that perhaps her grandmother had taken all of her pain and suffering with her to heaven.
It took about a year for the “spiritual torment” to totally disappear, and thankfully, she recovered both physically and mentally. She even began attending a hybrid high school and made some new friends.
Nevertheless, it soon came time to sort through her grandmother’s things in order to clear out her house. So, while she was organizing the basement one day, she stumbled upon some of her grandmother’s diaries.
She quickly noted that every single entry had been written on a Sunday, when they’d gone to church together. Moreover, the very first entry was penned on the day her father died.
She’d always been told that her dad had passed away in a tragic accident. Yet, according to her grandmother’s diary, he’d actually taken his own life because her mother had been unfaithful. And discovering the truth caused her to burst into tears.
But what her grandmother wrote on the next page of the diary was even more shocking.
“When I turned the page, I felt my entire body go cold. It was filled, cover to cover, with my grandmother’s hatred toward me,” she revealed.
“It began with the words, ‘You’re the child born from that affair,’ and continued with phrases like, ‘I want to kill you,’ and ‘You should die.’ It was a side of her I had never seen.”
This finally made her understand what her grandmother had been praying for at church every Sunday: her own demise.
She couldn’t believe that someone would sit next to her and pray for her death in a church each week for years. It felt like “blasphemy” and left her utterly speechless.
Now, she believes that perhaps her grandmother’s prayers had been answered, and that’s why she’d suffered so much throughout her childhood.
“According to my mother, even in her final moments, my grandmother kept whispering apologies to God through labored breaths. And that was the end of it all,” she said.
She’s since burned the diaries. Yet, to this day, she still can’t erase the entries she read from her mind.
Can you imagine learning that someone you loved so much had literally been praying for your downfall?
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