When you’ve been with someone for years, comfort in a relationship is expected, but there’s a fine line between being comfortable and being careless with your partner’s boundaries.
For her, this isn’t just about the fact that everyone farts or that bathrooms aren’t glamorous; it’s about the deliberate way her fiancé ignores her repeated requests to keep certain things private, and even turns them into public jokes at her expense.
Instead of sharing a laugh over normal human quirks, she’s left feeling embarrassed in grocery store aisles, grossed out in her own bedroom, and assaulted by smells she’s begged him to contain.
For the last six years, this 35-year-old woman has been with her 47-year-old fiancé, and throughout their time together, she’s been dealing with some gross stuff.
She understands that eventually, you get comfortable enough discussing bathroom matters in front of your significant other, but her fiancé is taking things too far, and it’s disgusting to her.
“He will deliberately get up while we’re relaxing in bed and let out the loudest, stinkiest fart while heading out of our bedroom to the bathroom to poop,” she explained.
“I’ve told him repeatedly that it grosses me out and to at least hold it until he’s out of the bedroom door. He ignores this and keeps doing it.”
“In public, he will fart in grocery store aisles when there are other people around, then walk away, leaving me standing in the stink cloud, looking like I was the one who did it. He thinks this is funny. I think it’s humiliating.”
Their house only has one single bathroom, which is located on the top floor. Her fiancé goes to the bathroom with the door open, and it’s so smelly she gets a whiff downstairs.
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It happens all the time, and she’s exhausted from smelling him. She no longer finds her fiancé attractive because of it.
She has brought up to her fiancé that she’s upset about this countless times. He either laughs at her or tells her she needs to get over her feelings.
She doesn’t think it’s normal what he’s doing, and he’s being disrespectful to her, too.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to want to be intimate with someone when I’m constantly grossed out by them,” she added.
“I’m at the point where I’m thinking of ending the relationship because I feel unheard, disrespected, and honestly… repulsed. My friends are split. Some say I’m overreacting and everyone farts, others say he’s being gross and childish.”
The problem isn’t just the behavior; it’s that she’s told him over and over how it makes her feel, and he laughs, dismisses her, or tells her to “get over it.” That lack of respect chips away at attraction, intimacy, and trust.
Ending an engagement over farts might sound silly to outsiders, but to her, this is about living with someone who repeatedly disregards her comfort.
If she already feels unheard, disrespected, and repulsed now, it’s fair for her to wonder what the rest of her life with him would look like, and whether she wants to sign up for that at all.
Do you think she’s wrong for wanting to end her engagement?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
