A decade ago, this woman met a man named John on a dating app and pined after him for years before they finally began dating. Then, in the wake of their two-year anniversary, he dumped her, and she recently discovered that John got engaged to the woman he’d sworn he wasn’t leaving her for.
To set the scene, she and John matched on Tinder back in the summer of 2015, while he was attending grad school in her city. There was immediate chemistry, and she felt like she “instantly” fell in love with the guy.
However, by the end of the summer, he had to relocate across the country for work. Despite the distance, they continued talking practically every day for years, and in the spring of 2018, they managed to meet up again.
At the time, John had moved back to his hometown; meanwhile, she was touring with her college’s symphonic band to a city only one hour away. So, he traveled there and spent an “amazing” day with her.
“I graduated, then in 2019, I started my first job that used my degree. He came down a few months later to attend my city’s comic con with me,” she recalled.
“At this point, it’s important to note that almost every time we saw each other, we were also hooking up.”
Next, the COVID-19 pandemic hit in 2020, and there were few developments in their relationship, aside from the fact that she was invited to join a Discord server to play online games with John and other friends.
This went on for a year, and once pandemic restrictions began to lift in 2021, some people she’d gotten to know on Discord wanted to meet up in person. She wound up taking a trip to visit them, and, again, she continued hooking up with John.
Thereafter, things started to go sideways. She went through a “traumatic incident” and was forced to take one month of medical leave from work. And at the end of her leave, she took a week-long trip to see her Discord friends and admitted that she still had feelings for John. Moreover, she confessed that she wanted to give a long-term relationship a try.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
According to her, John was shocked but still showed interest, and they intended to talk about their potential relationship after she got back from visiting another friend.
Well, the same day she was supposed to leave, she grabbed lunch with a female friend, Kim, from Discord. To her surprise, Kim unexpectedly confided in her, saying, “Hey, don’t tell anyone, but John and I have been talking about dating.”
“I have a full-blown panic attack and tell her that he and I have been hooking up for years, including the previous night. Obviously, neither of us is happy,” she detailed.
Kim begged her not to confront John, too, but she basically did it anyway. She called John’s best friend and told them to get John to apologize and decide who he wanted to be with: her or Kim.
He ultimately claimed that he would choose her every single time. So, she forced him to tell Kim the truth and apologize for playing her. Then, she got on her flight to visit her friend, and once she returned home, she and John officially started dating.
“The first year was great. We were happy and satisfied, albeit frustrated that we lived far apart,” she explained.
“I had expressed concern about the fact that the other woman was still flirting with him in front of me when I visited, to which I was told by multiple people that it was just how she spoke.”
Spoiler alert: that wasn’t the case, and things started to unravel about one year into their relationship. At that point, she and John were on the phone when he dropped the bomb that Kim would be moving in with him for anywhere from a few weeks to a few months.
Apparently, Kim had gotten laid off, needed to find a new place, and asked to stay with John in the meantime. And rather than talking to her about it first, he just said yes without even considering her feelings.
This understandably made her feel like an afterthought to John, and honestly, it might’ve been enough for some people to end the relationship altogether. She, on the other hand, wanted to be “the chill girlfriend” who didn’t get jealous, so she just accepted his apology and tried to move on.
Throughout the second year of their relationship, though, it’s clear their romance had stalled. Suddenly, John wouldn’t even talk about the idea of moving closer, and when they were together, he’d snap at her for trying to hold his hand or kiss him. Not to mention, while they were apart, he’d ignore her for days to even weeks.
Then, when she went to see John for their two-year anniversary in November 2023, she was hit with total whiplash. In person, he claimed he wanted to marry her and figure out how to be near her more. Yet, three days after she traveled home, he had the nerve to call, break up with her over the phone, and say he just didn’t want to be with her.
“I specifically ask if he’s leaving me for the other woman. He says no, he doesn’t plan to get with her at all. He says he wants to stay friends, but we’ve been no contact since,” she shared.
And just the other day, she found out John had never been telling the truth. Instead, he got engaged to Kim two weeks ago, and since asking a mutual friend about their relationship, she’s learned that John started dating Kim only one month after their split.
Now, she feels truly betrayed. It’s not like she wanted to get back together with John; she just wished he had shown an ounce of respect by being honest with her about his feelings. And in the midst of John’s engagement, she realizes that she deserved so much more during their relationship.
“You were definitely emotionally cheating on me with Kim the entire time, possibly even physically cheating, but I can’t prove it. You confided in her when you should have confided in me, or you should have respected our almost decade-long friendship enough and had the guts to tell me that you would rather be with her,” she said in a statement to John.
As for Kim, she wonders if John’s wife-to-be feels like she also deserves better than marrying a guy who viewed her as a “backup plan.”
“But we both know you don’t. You are a snake, and being the other woman when you’ve been in my scenario makes it even worse,” she directed to Kim.
“You two deserve each other, and I hope it crashes and burns.”
Would you feel resentful if you were her in her shoes? Does it seem like a blessing in disguise that she didn’t end up with John?
You can read the original post below.
By Katharina Buczek
Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing in... More about Katharina Buczek
