TikToker Julie (@juesrd1) and her ex-husband met in 2016, and they were together for six years before they divorced in June 2022.
Five years into their marriage, he embezzled money, and she found out about it. He then lied to her, saying that he was going to therapy because he wanted her to pay off the embezzlement. He also has a gambling addiction.
Last May, he was diagnosed with stage three colorectal cancer. She supported him for a while, but they stopped talking after she tried to set some boundaries with him.
“It ended up where he tried to manipulate me and convince me that he needed to move in with me so that he could rebuild trust with me, and I ceased conversation because that was a hard boundary for me,” Julie explained. “You’re not allowed to ask me for anything.”
Julie still communicates with his mother because she owns a car of hers. His mother pays Julie so she can pay the payment. They see each other once a month. They do not talk about him at all.
“I have not spoken to him since April,” Julie said. “He used to send me a text every week, trying to tell me that I’m a horrible person, all the way to, ‘I can’t believe that I messed up my life with you, and I’m so sorry.'”
“The last text I got from him was in September when he told me that his cancer moved to stage four.”
Apparently, the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes, bladder, and pelvic region. He has to wear a bladder bag and a colostomy bag. He is currently living at a homeless shelter.
According to Julie, he has ruined every relationship that he ever had with friends, family, and the church. For example, someone at church offered to let him live in a separate unit of their home, but he got kicked out due to something related to stealing, gambling, or lying.
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He was even gifted a car for Christmas in 2023, but he sold it and gambled away most of the money.
“I am normally not the one to say you deserve where you’re at in your life, but with him, he deserves where he’s at in his life,” concluded Julie.
In the comments section, several TikTok users expressed their thoughts on her situation.
“I was in a very similar situation in 2019 when my estranged husband had terminal cancer. His sisters would call me. Him dying doesn’t change who he is or what he’s done,” shared one user.
“We are all the product of our life choices. Sounds like your ex made some bad ones along the way. This is certainly not your fault or your problem,” wrote another.
“Sounds like you are being very smart, keeping your distance, holding your boundaries, and you know what? No one is responsible for his life. Good for you for not letting him guilt you,” added a third.
By Emily Chan
Emily Chan is a writer who covers lifestyle and news content. She graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in... More about Emily Chan
