Have you ever heard of Girl Code or Bro Code? It’s basically a set of unwritten rules governing social circles, and one of the major ones is to never date someone your friend used to date or had a crush on.
I think many of us intrinsically stick to these codes and wouldn’t dare to kick off a romance with a person who a friend or a sibling used to be tied to.
But how would you feel if you found out that your sibling was secretly dating your ex-spouse behind your back, and your mom totally approved of it?
This man spent eight years with his ex-wife, and their marriage came to an end after they struggled with fertility. He was the one who ultimately decided on the divorce and left his ex-wife.
A decade ago, he met the woman he’s currently married to, and they got hitched five years ago. They went through a grueling journey with IVF, got a donor, and have two little kids.
His ex-wife has also gone on to have a child of her own, and it’s come to light that all of those fertility problems they encountered were due to him.
Anyway, he recently called his brother to wish him Happy Birthday, and after a bit of chitchat, he questioned his brother about his plans to celebrate.
His brother mentioned he was going out to dinner with a girl who just so happened to have the same name as his ex-wife, but she has quite a common name.
However, it fleetingly crossed his mind that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance his brother was having dinner with his ex-wife, so he hopped on Facebook to do a bit of sleuthing.
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Well, he was pretty shocked to find a pretty adorable birthday message addressed to his brother from his ex-wife, and his brother had commented back in a way that made it seem like something was definitely going on between them.
“I didn’t want to jump to assumptions, so I called our Mum and asked if my brother was seeing X (brother sees Mum every day, so she would know),” he explained.
“Her response totally threw me. She played dumb, but then added, ‘So what if he is?’ The whole thing became me asking, ‘But isn’t this weird?’ And both my Mum and my Dad [were] saying it has nothing to do with me, what did it matter, I’m happy, and she’s not my property.”
“I hung up, knowing now he obviously was seeing her. So I called him. He has been seeing her for months. Everyone kept me in the dark, and no one thought to tell me because they didn’t think it mattered.”
But this isn’t even the cherry on top: his ex-wife actively tried to burn his relationship with his current wife to the ground. His ex-wife crafted fake profiles online, reaching out to his current wife through them.
He’s not positive his brother is aware of all of the drama his ex-wife stirred up, but his mom and dad absolutely know all about it.
He finally told his brother that if he wants to have a secret romance with his ex-wife, that means they will no longer have a relationship.
His brother attempted to call him several times, but he refused to pick up the phone. Next, his brother texted him that he was being a total adult.
Then, his dad called him to yell at him for being rude to his mom. His dad said his mom is so beside herself, he can’t imagine what was said in their phone call.
He never screamed at his mom, and the call had been recorded with the nanny cam he had in the room, which confirmed he wasn’t mean to his mom.
He’s left wondering if he’s a jerk for being unhappy with his brother for dating his ex-wife and not giving him the courtesy of notifying him beforehand.
He thinks it’s so out of line for his sibling to be going after his former spouse.
I find it so gross of his brother to be secretly dating his ex-wife, and his parents are terrible too for being supportive of this whole thing.
He’s got three backstabbers in his family, and I should cut contact with all of them for condoning this budding new romance. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why on earth would his brother want to hook up with his sloppy seconds?
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
