“Since my daughter has been dating this kid my wife has changed considerably and has given our daughter advice that has left me with raised brows more than once.”
“Some of the advice I’ve heard my wife give is ‘oh it’s cute for boys to pay for everything, especially in your first relationship!’ Or ‘Oh honey don’t worry about that, he can pay for you, if he really liked you he would’ and similar.”
Where is this 16-year-old kid getting the money to fund his girlfriend?!
“I’ve tried to balance this out by telling my daughter straight away ‘two people in a partnership should be contributing equally’ and my personal favorite ‘if someone asks if they can take you out to dinner, it’s reasonable to expect them to pay, but if someone asks you to grab dinner with them, it’s reasonable to split the payment’.”
“I figured that would be an easy way for a young person to understand the difference.”
“However I’ve noticed my daughter becoming more and more entitled with her boyfriend’s money.”
“They haven’t been anywhere obviously since we’re home but the way she talks about him ‘oh I’ll just ask him to pay for x’ etc leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”
“She has also flippantly bragged/ mentioned that she gets him to buy gift cards for her etc by mentioning her mother’s advice, i.e. ‘if you really liked me you’d pay for x.’”
“I spoke to my wife privately and told her my concerns, she insists it’s a rite of passage for girls and it’s cute that she should feel a guy is completely spoiling her.”
“I told her that it’s not cute for her to be thinking it’s acceptable to view relationships as personal ATMs, and my wife became very angry with me and is now calling me an a***** with a lot of hostility.”
Here’s what the internet had to say about this.
“This straight-up sounds like mom is training her daughter on expecting “sugar daddy/sugar baby” to be the default scenario in a relationship.”
“The wife is also teaching the daughter she can ‘be bought’ like some kind of transaction/chattel.”
“Your wife’s advice is turning your daughter entitled and spoiled. This is not healthy in a relationship of any age and splitting costs should be how it is. You are completely right about relationships not being personal ATMs. If I was dating someone who started acting increasingly entitled to my money I’d leave, it’s not cool.”
“Talk to the boy and tell him he shouldn’t feel obligated to pay for everything she asks him for. She’s taking advantage of his naivety and lack of experience.”
“Yeah her mom is turning her into an entitled person. Shes framing it as cute to frame it as something positive & innocent when it’s really just taking advantage of someone. Also the “if you really like me you’d pay for it” thing is manipulative and gross. I just feel really bad for that poor dude dating her.”
“Your wife is training your daughter to live outside her means and to rely on others for what she wants. This is a dangerous slope until the “If you love me, you will pay” is directed at you and your wife. It’s literally setting her up to think money = love.”
“Please help your daughter navigate this so she doesn’t become a complete monster.”
“Sounds like the wife is living vicariously through her daughter. That’s some pretty bad parenting. She will raise an entitled brat and wonder what happened when she can’t make a mature, dignified relationship last.”
“Ask your wife how it would feel if you were the boy’s parent instead of the girl’s. Would you be cool with your kid’s girlfriend exploiting them? If no, your wife she probably shut up. Talk to your daughter separately and tell her being financially dependent on a man is embarrassing and very 1800s.”
“Ask your wife how she would feel if his dad told his son ‘if she really liked you, she’d ….’ you get the idea.”
“It’s not “cute” to feel entitled to someone else’s money.”
“This is teaching her to be financially dependent on men and creating a sense of entitlement. Also, assuming he’s around her age, it’s very unreasonable to expect a 16-year-old to have money to pay for everything of hers in the first place.”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say about all this here.
Bre is a female millennial go getter residing in New York. One part entrepreneur, one part geek, she obtained her degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology.
She has held some exciting roles in both fashion as a designer working for brands like Victoria’s Secret and Henri Bendel, as well as in ad tech working for publishers like Ziff Davis.
Today she operates Chip Chick Media which reaches millions of women each month.
Bre is passionate about teaching women how to build a business and be an entrepreneur, in addition to keeping her readers informed of the latest technology trends and exciting products to improve their lifestyles.
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