She Lost Custody When Her Daughter Was A Child, And Their Relationship Became Very Strained, But Her Daughter Recently Reached Out And Asked To Reconnect This Christmas, Yet She Surprisingly Said No
This forty-six-year-old woman has been married twice and has three children– a daughter from her first marriage, who is now twenty-four, and two sons from her second marriage, who are twelve and ten.
So, if you could not have guessed, her first marriage obviously did not work out. She claims that throughout almost all of that marriage, her ex-husband was unemployed and did not do much for their family.
They lived in a home bought by her ex’s father, and her ex’s father paid all of their bills as well as purchased the car they drove. She and her ex even received money sent by her ex’s father to raise their daughter.
“I was young, stupid, and in love. That is my only excuse for living like that,” she recalled.
Then, by the time her daughter turned five, she started to kind of wake up and began pushing her ex to find work. She also got a job– even though her ex ultimately never did.
So, tensions between them continued to rise, and their differences caused their marriage to end in a divorce.
After splitting up, though, her ex actually received full custody; meanwhile, she was allowed visitation every other Saturday.
On top of that, she was also expected to pay child support– a reality that occurred because she claimed that her ex’s father hired a good lawyer, which she just could not afford to do.
In turn, she was forced to work a full-time job as well as two part-time jobs just to afford her one-bedroom apartment in addition to the child support payments.
Leika production – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Then, one year after her divorce, her ex remarried another woman.
And at that point, she reportedly suffered a lot of child alienation. But, she could not afford to take her ex to court again in hopes of gaining more parental rights.
So, by the time her daughter turned fourteen, she was no longer called “mom.” Instead, she was referred to by her first name; meanwhile, her ex’s new wife– her daughter’s stepmom– was given the title of “mom.”
Understandably, that really hurt. Still, though, she claims to have tried her best to hold onto a relationship with her daughter.
“I went to all the events I could go to. I planned fun days with the limited funds I had, even when I could not afford to turn on the heat. I still made sure to get her a Christmas gift,” she explained.
It appears that those efforts were, unfortunately, not enough, though. Once aged sixteen, her daughter actually wanted nothing to do with her anymore.
And after realizing that, she did decide to take her ex to court one more time. According to her, though, the court did not do anything, and nothing changed.
Plus, the last time she saw her daughter, she claimed that her daughter said some pretty awful things to her. So, she felt really defeated but ultimately decided that she just no longer had a daughter.
“Since that is literally what she wanted,” she said.
Afterward, she ended up moving away and starting over. She met a good man, got married, and they now have two “wonderful” kids together. Completely out of the blue, though, her daughter apparently tried to reach out to her last year.
Her daughter is now twenty-four years old and claimed that she was sorry. Her daughter also asked if they could reconnect and try to rebuild their relationship.
To be honest, though, she was pretty hesitant to open up that line of communication again. After all, she still held onto some resentment. But she did start talking with her daughter once a week.
And just recently, her daughter apparently caught her off guard again by asking to spend Christmas with her family. Her daughter reportedly wanted to spend time getting to know her brothers this holiday season.
Perhaps surprisingly, though, she told her daughter that she just could not allow that. Then, the discussion got heated, and she ended up telling her daughter that she could not trust her with her brothers.
“And that I was still not one hundred percent sure that I wanted our relationship to become more,” she revealed. Yikes.
Her daughter has since called her a total jerk and claims that she is punishing her daughter for things that she had no control over as a child. For instance, how her ex reportedly manipulated and influenced her young daughter’s view of her.
So now, with Christmas here, she has been left contemplating whether not allowing her daughter to join her family is reasonable or just plain petty.
Why do you think her daughter grew up with a warped view of her? Do you think her daughter is telling the truth about her ex being manipulative as a father? Does she have a right to still feel resentful? Even so, should she take that out on her daughter this Christmas? What would you do in this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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