Her Fiancé’s Former Best Man Came Out Last Year, And Will Now Be His Best Woman At Their Wedding, But She Is Not Happy About It And Told Her Fiancé He Needed To Find A New Best Man

Med Photo Studio - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Med Photo Studio - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This 30-year-old woman and her fiancé Kevin, who is 28, were originally supposed to tie the knot a few years ago.

But, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, she and Kevin were forced to put everything on hold. They also wanted to postpone the wedding until all of their friends and family members felt safe attending a big event.

So now, as of this year, the couple has finally set a date for this August. And, of course, with the wedding quickly approaching, she cannot stop thinking about how she wants her big day to go.

There is just one issue in particular that has been seriously weighing on her mind, though– and it has to do with her fiancé Kevin’s best man.

Apparently, the friend whom Kevin picked to be his best man a few years ago no longer identifies as a man. Instead, her fiancé now has a best woman, a 26-year-old named Amy.

According to her, her fiancé and Amy first met at work after Kevin had been kicked out by his mother at 17. Then, the two friends grew to have a very close sibling-like relationship. In fact, Kevin has told her numerous times that Amy is the closest thing he has to family.

Anyway, she claims that initially, Amy did not plan to come out to her fiancé Kevin until after the wedding.

But then, after Amy found out that the wedding was going to be delayed, Kevin’s friend decided to come out sooner.

While Kevin has been very accepting of the entire thing, though, she is not okay with it at all and does not want Amy to be her fiancé’s best woman.

Med Photo Studio – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

“But without consulting me, Kevin told Amy that he was fine with all of that and that if Amy was at a stage where she would like to wear a dress when our wedding happened, then he would find her a dress that matched the colors he had for his groomsmen,” she explained.

And since Amy has been medically transitioning for about a year now, Kevin recently told her that they needed to find Amy a new dress.

Now, she claims that she does not have a problem with Amy and understands just how close her fiancé is to her.

“But our wedding is largely for my very traditional family,” she said.

In fact, she also claims that Kevin has said the wedding “is not that important to him.” Moreover, her fiancé only agreed to do it because he knows it is very important to her and her family.

So, she believes that her family would have “a lot of issues” with Amy being Kevin’s best woman. She is also “sure” that her family’s issues would bring a bunch of unwanted or rude attention toward Amy.

And she claims that these reasons pushed her to actually ask her fiancé if he would choose someone else. She even requested that Amy attend as just a guest instead of having any part as a groomsman.

Understandably, though, Kevin was completely against this. In fact, she and her fiancé ended up getting into a massive argument, in which Kevin even threatened to cancel the wedding unless Amy was a part of the big day.

But, for whatever reason, she does not seem to understand the fact that Kevin simply wants his closest family member to be a part of the ceremony.

Instead, it appears she is more focused on how her family will perceive Amy.

“I am trying to get him to understand the issues this will cause, but I am not sure he gets it,” she vented.

So now, she has been questioning whether telling her fiancé that he needs to find a new best man makes her a total jerk or not.

Does it matter whether or not having a big wedding is important to her fiancé? Shouldn’t Kevin get to choose who his best person is, regardless of their identity? Do you think it is wrong of her to value her family’s perception over her fiancé’s wishes? If you were in her shoes, what would you do?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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