This Dad Says He’s Definitely Landing In A Nursing Home Over These Funny Lies He Has Told His Child
Even the most virtuous of us have bent the truth, particularly when it comes to getting little kids to do something they don’t want to do.
Sometimes, parents tell lies to their children, thinking it will keep a tantrum at bay. Or because it’s less complicated than the truth, and they don’t have the energy to dive into that at the moment.
Young kids believe everything their parents say until they begin to learn more about the ways of the world, and suddenly, they realize they have been fed with more than a bit of fiction.
Radio personality and TikTok creator Kolter Bouchard (@koltertalks) is sharing some of the funny lies he has told his three-year-old daughter to make his life somewhat easier. Hopefully, he won’t end up in a nursing home after she discovers the truth!
The first one is that he got her from Amazon. Every child wonders where babies come from, and it’s one of the questions that parents dread most.
And especially in 2023, this seems like an appropriate response to give if you’re looking to avoid the talk about the birds and the bees for a few more years.
After all, Amazon offers same-day delivery, and you can buy almost anything from them. So it just makes sense that babies can be delivered to your door, too.
The second is that Minnie Mouse loves broccoli. It’s common to take a fictional character your child adores and turn it into a tool for your advantage, so we can’t fault you for that one.
“Minnie is a 95-year-old cartoon rat. For all I know, she eats cartoon garbage. But if my daughter doesn’t eat vegetables, she gets constipated, and that’s a pain…for everyone,” said Kolter.
Vera – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual child
And finally, the last lie that Kolter tells his daughter is that the TV went to bed. Parents can only take so much of the same show or movie on repeat. When you need to cut off your kid’s screen time without causing a fuss, this is the way to do it.
“I’m actually surprised she bought this one, especially at 3 PM, but after four episodes of Bluey, Daddy needs a break,” Kolter concluded.
Several parents felt compelled to share the lies they tell their kids, and some of them got pretty creative!
“I told my oldest we got her from the hospital, but I still have her receipt and can still return her when she’s horrible,” commented one user.
“I tell my two-year-old that my Switch went to bed. He says goodnight to it,” wrote another.
“I told my toddler snakes aren’t real because she’s afraid of them, lol,” wrote a third.
@koltertalks I’m 100% going to a nursing home #parenting #toddlersoftiktok #dadsoftiktok
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