I’m Sure You Know What The Honeymoon Stage Is, But He’s Explaining The Other 2 Stages Of A Relationship That You Might Not Know About
Falling in love is easy, but being in a committed relationship takes work. So if you want to learn how to navigate the ups and downs of a relationship, then you’re in the right place.
A relationship coach named Brian (@awakeningwithbrian) is on TikTok explaining the lesser-known stages in a relationship and how to tell if you’re in that stage.
So there are three stages to all relationships, and 90 percent of them either fail during stage two or become stuck in stage two.
The first phase is the honeymoon stage, which is probably a concept you’re already familiar with. The honeymoon stage is typically the most fun and exciting part of a relationship.
It’s when couples are just beginning to learn about each other. There are lots of dates, lots of laughs, and lots of affection. But during this stage, you’re not revealing the full version of yourself.
“It doesn’t mean that this is completely fake. It’s just massively distorted where you’re only sharing the socially acceptable parts of yourselves,” said Brian
And like all honeymoons, your facade will fade over time. When the excitement starts to lessen, you’re on your way to entering stage two, and that’s where things get brutally honest. Stage two of the relationship is where all your unresolved childhood traumas surface.
“This stage of the relationship particularly kicks in strong after real commitment has been made to each other. That can look like getting married, or living together, or being together for six-plus months,” Brian elaborated.
Stage two is what Brian has deemed “the relationship loop of doom.” Here’s how the cycle begins. Usually, one partner gets triggered first, whether it’s work-related stress or feeling ashamed about something.
Vera – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
This will cause them to engage in behavior patterns they learned from childhood that helps them cope with negative feelings. And that could include finding distractions or distancing themselves from their partner.
As a result, their partner is now feeling triggered by the lack of attention and love, which could lead to them constantly doling out criticism, projecting emotion, or becoming more controlling. Basically, they’re expressing loud emotions because they don’t feel heard.
In the end, the couple winds up triggering each other back and forth and practicing their harmful behavior patterns more strongly the more they get triggered, leading their relationship into a downward spiral.
Very few relationships make it past the loop of doom and into stage three. And the ones that do have to do a ton of healing to get there.
“They learn to begin looking at their childhood, where they learned all these negative behavior patterns. They learn to be more accountable for themselves and begin the steps of healing and growing,” explained Brian.
Finally, there’s stage three, which is a spiritual partnership all about acceptance, compassion, and understanding. Brian calls it “the awakening.” It’s when you both realize you’re in each other’s lives for the purpose of growth.
You may still have moments of conflict, but now, you’re aware of your triggers and don’t try to make it your partner’s responsibility to make you feel better.
@awakeningwithbrian There are three stages to all relationships, most relationships fail during stage two and most relationships are stuck in stage two. follow along as you learn what makes relationships succeeded versus fail. #relationshipadvice
If true crime defines your free time, this is for you: join Chip Chick’s True Crime Tribe
This Trauma Therapist Is Talking About A Symptom Of Anxiety That Isn’t Talked About Enough
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Romance