About 20 years ago, when this 39-year-old woman was just 19, she fell in love with a 24-year-old guy. After they started dating, they had an intensely passionate relationship that lasted about four months.
She recalled how, at that time in her life, she was a “broken mess” trying to grapple with depression and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (c-PTSD) stemming from childhood trauma.
So, she had an anxious and needy attachment style, which conflicted with her ex-boyfriend’s attachment style and caused a lot of arguments.
But, just a few months after they broke up, she did text him “I love you” one night when she was missing him.
“It was just something I wanted to say with no expectations because it was what I felt,” she retold.
Still, her ex wound up asking her to meet up. She agreed, and they caught up and made out. He also wanted to be physical.
She declined his offer, though, because unless they planned to get back together, she did not want to put herself through any emotional pain.
Then, the following day, her ex texted her and claimed he could no longer see her again since there was “someone else.” And when she asked if her ex still loved her, he just responded, “Not anymore.”
She was genuinely upset that her ex wanted to be physical with her with no intention of something more. So, she expressed her anger, but he just told her to “have a nice life.”