He’s Considering Ending Things With His Fiancée Because She Promises To Come Home At A Certain Time, Yet Stays Out Until The Early Morning Hours Hanging Out With Friends

ID 155708936 - © Mikhail Spaskov - Dreamstime.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
ID 155708936 - © Mikhail Spaskov - Dreamstime.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This 35-year-old guy has been with his 31-year-old fiancée for 6 years now, and he has to say that she’s everything he imagined in a woman.

She is kind, supportive, loving, and definitely the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

That being said, there’s one major problem in their relationship, and it has to do with the fact that she has been a bartender for the last couple of years.

She works very late nights, and the majority of her friends also work in the service industry or bar tend.

“She now has a day job (like me) but still picks up bartending shifts for some extra money,” he explained.

“She usually likes to stay out after she gets off work, which I’m fine with, but she is never clear about when she is going to be home. This is where the problem is. She will say she is going to “have a drink and be home by 11.”

“I’ll go to sleep at 10, wake up at 1, and she’s nowhere to be found. I’ll text her to see if she’s ok, she’ll respond with “yes, I’m hanging out, be home soon” and then won’t show up until 3. This happens regularly, and it disrupts my sleep.”

It’s not that he needs his fiancée to be right there next to him in order to sleep; it’s that when he doesn’t know when she’s going to be home, it makes it hard for him to fall asleep, let alone stay asleep.

He has spoken to his fiancée about this multiple times, and he keeps asking her to just give him a real time that he can expect her to come home.

ID 155708936 – © Mikhail Spaskov – Dreamstime.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Otherwise, he restlessly wonders where she is all evening, and that impacts his ability to get some shut-eye.

“I don’t think she’s up to something suspicious or anything, but this behavior is dishonest and disrespectful, it is starting to erode some of my trust in her,” he said.

“I don’t spend much time out at bars, but when I have plans that don’t involve my fiancée, I do give her a timeframe of when I can be expected and I stick to it. I do think that’s courteous and normal to do with someone you’re in a relationship with.”

Despite speaking to her, she continues to blow him off, not give him an accurate time he can expect her to return home and just dismisses this as a concern.

“This isn’t something I want to put up with,” he said. “Am I insane for feeling like I should end the relationship over this?”

“I mean, that is what you do when your boundaries are crossed. Am I being unreasonable or, worse, controlling? I just want some insight as to what is healthy for me to ask for in this.”

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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