His Girlfriend Wants To Move In With Him But Isn’t Comfortable With His Young Adult Children Visiting Him Part-Time
This 54-year-old man was previously married for 25 years and had two children with his ex-wife. His kids are now young adults, and they are both partly disabled.
“They walk and talk and bathroom themselves and otherwise lead independent lives,” he explained.
“But they have some difficulties with activities of daily living independently and will be visiting and staying with me in my new townhome up to one-third of the time.”
He also started dating a 52-year-old woman about four months ago, and their relationship seemed to be progressing great.
His girlfriend was never married and never had any kids– only pets.
While his girlfriend was supposed to finally meet his kids within the next couple of weeks, though, she is now getting cold feet– because, apparently, she has never lived with anyone else.
Now, to be clear, they still live separately. And he actually did not plan to live together for a little while.
However, his girlfriend is already thinking about moving in with him somewhat soon. She reportedly has a strange leasing situation in which she could be given two months’ notice to vacate the premises at any time.
If that were to happen, his girlfriend wouldn’t want to live by herself for a few more years while his children grow a bit older and develop a plan to live primarily independently, either.
pololia – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
So, he’s now feeling pretty sad because he just doesn’t think their relationship is going to work. He’s realized that his girlfriend can only really imagine living with just him.
“And it is becoming clear now that the thought of my children visiting and staying, even if only one-third of the time, and really only one of them as the other lives away at college, is intolerable for her,” he revealed.
This realization has left him feeling super disappointed since he thinks that if they really love each other, then he and his girlfriend would be able to rise above any challenges and work together to come up with a creative solution.
But he believes that his girlfriend is just stuck in her ways. So, she would actually rather break up with him than attempt to make their relationship work.
“I can’t force her to become comfortable with the idea of my children,” he vented. “Maybe this is why not having children in middle age is a red flag in potential dating partners for divorcees with children.”
He’s also now wondering how his girlfriend can afford to make space for him in her life but not his adult children, who would only visit part-time.
Since they’ve only been dating for four months, do you think that’s too soon to think about moving in together? If you were in his shoes, would you also view your girlfriend having cold feet about your kids as a red flag? What should he do in this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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