If He Asks You To Come Over For A First Date, It’s A Red Flag
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer, Katharina Buczek.
Finding someone you actually like on a dating app can feel like finding a needle in a haystack. It’s not uncommon to go through countless swipes– and even more lackluster conversations– before you finally find someone who you want to go on a first date with.
And at that point, it is easier to become blinded by the excitement and overlook some glaring red flags.
So, just in case you needed a reminder, it is a huge no-go if a guy invites you over to his house for a first date. Why? Well, let’s discuss.
First of all, let’s begin with the obvious connotation. Have you ever received a “You up?” text from a guy at 3:00 a.m.? If that message sends you running for the hills, a “come over” text for a first date should do the same.
It implies that the guy wants to just cut to the chase and hook up. But to be clear– if you are into that sort of thing, don’t let me discourage you.
However, if you are not looking for a one-night fling, don’t waste your breath. The least a guy could do is take you out to dinner first and then offer to have you over for dessert.
Not to mention, going over to a stranger’s house the very first time you meet them is extremely dangerous. It is much safer to meet up in a public place– taking two separate cars– to break the ice and gain your bearings.
Now, yes, I know that not every guy who invites you over to his house will be dangerous or wants a quick hookup. But why take that risk?
Victoria Chudinova – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
And even if he is neither of those things, the at-home “first date” is still a red flag simply because it’s lazy.
If you are searching for a partner to start a relationship with, then you are likely looking for someone who puts effort into forging new connections and takes initiative.
However, if a guy asks you to head over to his place and simply chill, he is doing neither of those things.
I’m not saying a guy has to get dressed to the nines or take you out on an expensive first date just to make a good impression. But even asking you to go on a simple walk around a local park with a stop at a nearby ice cream parlor shows considerably more effort and initiative.
Finally, if you accept that your “first date” with a guy is just sitting next to him on his couch and chatting about who knows what, the bar is being set incredibly low. And if you really want a partner who plans and puts in some effort, this is not the best way to set the tone for a budding relationship.
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