He’s Uncomfortable With His Girlfriend’s Male Friends, Since He’s Convinced They Want More, And Wants Her To Set Boundaries With Them

ID 26038696 - © Lithian - - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Boundaries within a relationship are so important. When our partner doesn’t set boundaries with their friends of the opposite gender, this can potentially cause some awkwardness.

This man is in his first relationship, and he has been dating his girlfriend for a year. They graduated from college two years ago.

He and his girlfriend have repeatedly had disagreements about friendships of the opposite gender. Unfortunately, he doesn’t feel like his girlfriend has been respecting his wishes for her to have more boundaries among her male friend group.

“She has one friend in particular who lives in the same city as us who calls her late at night, invites her on what I consider dates (movies, drinks, dinner, all one-on-one), and clings to her at social events,” he said.

This friend’s behavior has made him uneasy, and he has always had a sneaking suspicion that this friend has romantic feelings for his girlfriend. However, his girlfriend doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with the friendship and hasn’t done anything to make her boyfriend feel more comfortable.

“There is another group of friends (all men) she met on Birthright (she’s Jewish; I’m not), and they are very close. They visit each other once a year. This past year, she visited them, and when I expressed this made me uncomfortable, she flipped out and thought I was trying to control her,” he explained.

Then, his girlfriend told him that he shouldn’t be concerned about her visiting these friends because she was going to sleep in her own bed during her time with them.

“It still feels strange to me. I’d never go and visit an all-girl friend group,” he continued.

He does occasionally get coffee or drinks and catch up with female friends from college, but he feels like the circumstances are a bit different than the way his girlfriend goes on “dates” with a male friend on a consistent basis.

ID 26038696 – © Lithian – – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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