After His Dishes Started Going Missing, He Found Out His Girlfriend Would Just Throw Them Away Instead Of Cleaning Them
For nearly a year, this 25-year-old man and his girlfriend, 26, have been in a relationship. While they don’t live together, his girlfriend has been sleeping over at his place on a regular basis.
Because his girlfriend is with him most of the time, they eat meals at home together a lot. He likes to cook, and he does the majority of the cooking for the two of them, which he doesn’t mind.
A month ago, his girlfriend told him that she could start doing the dishes after he cooked for them, and he felt like this was a kind gesture. He didn’t think much of it after she offered to do the dishes.
“However, over the past week, I have noticed a few of my dishes going missing. I don’t know how else to describe it. They’re just completely gone, and my apartment is pretty small, so there’s literally nowhere else they could be,” he said.
When he first started picking up on this, he thought he was losing his mind, so he didn’t say anything about it to his girlfriend.
Then, once he saw that two of his four bowls were completely missing, he asked his girlfriend in a joking manner where his dishes were disappearing to.
“She ended up telling me that a lot of times when she leaves dishes to soak, or the food dries up, or it’s messier than she wants to clean, she’ll just throw the dishes away. Apparently, this is something she does at her place, and she just replaces the dishes after a while because it’s easier for her that way,” he explained.
He grew up in a family that financially struggled, and he doesn’t earn a lot of money on his own, so in his view, purchasing new dishes each month to replace the old ones his girlfriend throws away just so that he doesn’t run out of dishes is completely nonsensical.
There’s no excuse for his girlfriend not to be capable of washing the dishes correctly and efficiently because he has plenty of cleaning products.
Photo 281676175 © Prostockstudio – Dreamstime.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
He wouldn’t mind washing the dishes himself to prevent her from constantly throwing them away.
The only reason they got into the routine of his girlfriend doing the dishes is because she’s offered to in the first place.
“I told her if she was going to throw away dishes instead of cleaning them, she was going to need to pay for the replacements. At first, she said she was fine, but then she got really quiet and wouldn’t really talk to me the same way all day. I eventually asked her what was wrong, and she told me that she felt like I was being cheap and trying to embarrass her by asking her to pay,” he shared.
After their discussion, he began to feel he was wrong for asking his girlfriend to pay to replace his dishes because she expressed that she’s always been in the habit of throwing dishes away.
He started to feel a tinge of guilt because she told him that he shouldn’t have embarrassed her or requested that she be the one to buy new dishes. She explained that she didn’t know this would make him mad.
He doesn’t want to continue to argue about this if his girlfriend becomes more offended over time, and he plans to take over doing the dishes from then on.
His girlfriend told him that her habit of throwing dishes away was “innocent” and not something he should be this upset over.
The next morning, he was still baffled and irritated about the issue. In the afternoon, he broached the topic once more, and his girlfriend finally agreed that she would pay to replace his dishes.
From his perspective, he shouldn’t be financially responsible for it when he wasn’t the one who chose to throw his dishes out, and he didn’t even know it was happening at first.
The crux of his girlfriend’s problem with his reaction was that he hadn’t told her in the first place not to throw his dishes away, and he didn’t do anything to prevent her from doing it.
If she had known he didn’t want her to do so, she assures him that she wouldn’t have done it, and she wouldn’t be on the hook for new dishes now.
She told him that it was “‘Simple as that.'” He countered that there are tons of things he hasn’t expressed to her not to do, but it’s because the things he’s thinking of are common knowledge and should go without saying.
In his view, not throwing out dishes is something most people would understand without needing to be told. His girlfriend wasn’t too pleased with this explanation.
He pointed out that the main argument they’ve been having about this doesn’t have anything to do with either of them being “cheap” or wanting to do their best to save money.
The main issue they are having has to do with their differing opinions on whether or not what his girlfriend did was wrong.
After hearing others weigh in on the issue, he felt more confident in his belief that she was wrong.
Even though he views her actions as wrong, he doesn’t think this means she’s, therefore, a terrible person, and he’s explained this to her.
In his eyes, her actions were weird and “wasteful,” but since he’s been dating her for a while, he feels like he knows who she is as a person, and he’s trying to be fair in his assessment of the situation and take everything into consideration.
He has tried hard to be kind and empathetic toward his girlfriend throughout their discussions, but despite this, she has been angry with him for even hinting at the fact that her behavior was wrong.
In addition, their conversations have included the topic of personal property, and they’ve disagreed on this as well.
His girlfriend was angry that he called his dishes “my property” because, according to her, it was her property, too, because they were dating.
She views them as “a unit” and doesn’t like that he tried to argue that his dishes were only his.
This subject was brought up after he clarified to her that he didn’t have any opinion about what she did with her own property at her place, and he requested that she not throw his property away.
At the end of the day, his girlfriend left and went back to her place. They talked in circles and never came to any sort of resolution.
His hope was that they could talk things out and move forward, but as they continued arguing, he grew more worried, not only about what she did with his dishes but how she reacted when he expressed his frustration and asked her to replace them.
He realized that she was trying to manipulate and gaslight him into believing that he was the one to blame, and he was upset that she never took accountability.
Now, he’s going to use this time for himself to decide what he wishes to make of their relationship, adding that life is too short.
What would you have done if you were in his shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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