She Feels Like Her Accomplishments Are Overlooked Or Kept A Secret Just To Save Her Siblings’ Feelings
This 27-year-old woman and her family have always been close. They even have a group chat– including herself, her parents, her three sisters, and her brother-in-law and sister-in-law– where they send updates about their lives since they don’t all live nearby.
However, ever since she got married to her husband, who is also 27, back in 2020, she’s felt like her accomplishments are constantly overlooked to save her 28-year-old sister’s feelings.
For instance, after she got engaged, her parents actually sat her down and claimed that her sister was feeling upset that she was getting married first.
So, her parents actually told her that they wouldn’t talk about her wedding whatsoever when her sister was around!
Then, on the day of her actual ceremony, her sister could barely look at her, and her mom spent the entire event comforting her sister instead of celebrating her nuptials.
“I had a beautiful day with my husband and those who wanted to celebrate with us,” she recalled.
“But it was difficult to be ignored by my sister, who was my best friend growing up. I had hoped she would feel happy for me and that my mom would have wanted to celebrate with us.”
From then on, this trend continued, too. For some context, she’s been working a “decent” job for the past few years. However, her position was in no way related to her passions or even the degree that she graduated with.
That’s why she began interviewing for a new job, and just yesterday, she received some great news: she had landed the position.
Photo 115196544 © Roman Samborskyi – Dreamstime.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
So, obviously, she and her husband were over the moon, and he took her out to dinner to celebrate. She also called her mom to fill her in on everything.
But, while her mom was happy, her mom also quickly reminded her that her brother had been out of work for almost a year and had been struggling to find a new job to support his family.
Then, her mom actually claimed that it would be “a bit selfish” to “boast” about the news of her new job while her brother is battling unemployment.
“And I understand that, and I would never want to rub it in their faces, but finally kickstarting my career is something I’ve hoped for and worked towards for a long time while the job market has been difficult for recent graduates,” she reasoned.
Still, the real kicker came just this morning. Right after she woke up, she saw a text in her family group chat.
The message? It was her mom enthusiastically sharing news that her sister had been accepted into an RN program.
Now, she was obviously proud of her younger sister, but to her, the text seemed like a blatant double standard.
“Why is it me that’s selfish for wanting to mention that I accomplished something important to me?” she asked.
She realizes that she does have a wonderful husband who always celebrates her “wins” and makes her feel both appreciated and loved. So, she does feel a little dumb for getting hurt by her family’s reaction to all of her milestones.
Nonetheless, she still thinks that the double standard is unfair.
“So I’m tempted to send something in the family group chat on my first day at my new job, just to say that I’m starting a new job and that I’m excited,” she revealed.
However, before she goes through with that plan, she’s not sure if that would be the wrong thing to do or not.
How would you feel if you constantly had to tamper down your own excitement about accomplishments just to save your siblings’ feelings? Does she have a right to be upset or not? Should she send that text to her family’s group chat? What would you do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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