She Wanted To Display A Photo Of Her Late Grandma And Father At Her Wedding To Honor Them, But Her Stepdad Got Offended
Tragically, when this 28-year-old woman was 4-years-old, her father passed away. Her father’s mother passed away before she was born. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have relationships with any of her father’s surviving family members, and since he died when she was so young, her memories of him are fuzzy.
During conversations with some of her family friends, she was informed that from their point of view, her father and grandmother were the kindest people in the entire family. After finding out as much as she could from them about her father and grandmother, it has been clear to her throughout her life that she and her father had a lot in common, while he had a lot in common with her grandmother.
Over the years, she heard so many glowing words about her grandmother, as well as testimonies from her father’s friends who considered her grandmother to be a maternal figure to them, and they expressed how grateful they were to have had her in their lives. Her grandmother seemed like she’d been such a wonderful human being, and she thought highly of her.
“Because of all this, I feel a connection to her as well. And also because of how similar we look. So, I want a photo of both of them on a table at the wedding where we honor those who cannot make it. My fiancée wants her brother and sister, who died as children, to have photos on there as well,” she said.
When she was 6-years-old, her mother met the man who would eventually become her stepfather, and he was the only paternal figure she had clear memories of throughout her entire childhood and beyond. He and her mother married when she was 8, but he lived with them for a year prior to the wedding.
“He has always felt slighted by the fact that he’s my stepdad and not my dad. He also mentioned that he wished that people didn’t point out how much I looked like my dad. He’s very insecure about mentions of my dad and also because my mom also speaks fondly of him still,” she explained.
She informed her stepfather of her plan to honor her father and grandmother with photos of them at a table, and he wasn’t thrilled about this idea. He questioned why she wanted to honor someone who’d passed away before she was born and another person whom she didn’t have clear memories of. In her opinion, her stepfather may have been hurt that she wouldn’t be honoring his mother, who she was only introduced to on one occasion before her passing.
Since the table was meant to honor loved ones whom she and her fiancée deeply missed and wished could have been with them in person to celebrate their special day, she hadn’t suggested including a photo of her stepfather’s mother.
If they branch out and add photos of loved ones their family members missed, they would have to add a lot more photos to the table. But they wanted to limit it to people directly connected to her and her fiancée.
Buyanskyy Production – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“My stepdad asked me why I have to put my dad on display like that during the wedding, asking why he has to haunt him there as well. He told me it’s hurtful to always feel like he’s not even second-best, but it just doesn’t compare to someone who is not even a full memory for me,” she shared.
In response to this, she let her stepfather know how offensive his words were, reminding him that even though her father had passed away, he would forever be her father. She added that she wouldn’t even exist without her father and grandmother.
Her stepfather doubled down on his opinion, stating that he was just providing “his truth” and felt like it was necessary for him to voice it.
Then, he said that if he was at all important in her life, she wouldn’t include photos of her father and grandmother on the table honoring loved ones who they wished could be at her wedding.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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