She’s Not Sure Her Marriage Will Survive After Her Husband Called Her “Defective” For Her Miscarriage
Two years ago, this 27-year-old woman married her 30-year-old husband, and they have been together for five years in total.
She has always thought the world of her husband, and their marriage has been filled with happiness, which made her want to start trying to have a baby with him.
She did get pregnant, but she sadly miscarried last summer, which left both her and her husband with broken hearts.
She felt immense guilt like it was all her fault their daughter did not survive. Her husband didn’t deal well either, and he turned to drinking in an effort to cope with his grief.
Several months later, she and her husband both came to terms with how their marriage was no longer in a healthy place, so they went to therapy together.
Therapy was an enormous benefit to both of them, and her husband stopped drinking too. Although they still felt a bit strained in their marriage, their therapist reassured them it’s pretty normal to experience, and they should keep working through that.
A week ago, her husband and some of his friends decided to go out after work one night. She was excited that her husband was being social once again, so she made him a lovely dinner they could enjoy together when he got home.
However when he did come home that night, she was shocked to find that her husband was absolutely wasted.
She very calmly asked him what was going on, and her husband snapped that she was intervening in his social life and he needed some kind of a break still from his own life.
fizkes – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“I was really offended by that and told him so, and our back and forth quickly became an argument,” she explained.
“I tried to tell him that what he was doing was hurting both of us, which resulted in him yelling, “You’re the one that’s…defective.” I have never felt so hurt by anything in my life, and I was so horrified I went silent.”
He was furious and aggressive, and her old guilt flooded right back to her. Knowing it wasn’t a good idea for both of them to be in the same house that night, she made the decision to go to her mom and dad’s house.
Her husband wasn’t in any state to go to a hotel or something, so she removed herself from the situation.
Ever since her husband said those crushing words to her, she has been conflicted regarding what her next steps should be.
“We’ve had plenty of tension since the miscarriage, and I’ve never taken anything in an argument to heart like I did with my husband’s “defective” comment,” she said.
“I don’t know if I can go back to him, truthfully. I’m still at my parent’s house, but my husband constantly blows up my phone and doesn’t respect my request for space. Right now, the sound of his voice makes me nauseous.”
Her husband’s family members are all over her, saying she can’t abandon him while he’s still dealing with his own grief and incredibly vulnerable.
Her own mom and dad also believe that perhaps she’s spent too much time away from her husband at this rate.
She feels painfully alone as she navigates this, and she’s confused as to why all of their loved ones are treating her like she’s making a mountain out of a molehill.
“In truth, I don’t know if the marriage can last,” she admitted. “But I guess I wanted to know if you think I’m overreacting – I know I’m still grieving too, and it’s hard for me to regulate my own emotions in all this.”
“I also recognize he has a problem. Any opinions or words of advice over this, or the marriage in general, would be so helpful.”
What advice do you have for her; do you think their marriage can be saved, or is there no coming back from this?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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