He Told His Girlfriend He’s Not Marrying Her Unless She Signs A Prenup
This man is in his late 30s, and his girlfriend is barely into her 30s. Before he met his girlfriend, he was married once, and he has two little kids with his ex-wife.
His girlfriend has kids, too, but she was not married to that man. He and his girlfriend have been together for the last five years, and they have one child together.
“I’m retired [from the] military and have a very good pension. I own my house and have since before [she] and I met,” he explained.
“Due to my pension being enough to cover my financial obligations, I have recently started working on building a software company. We’re still in development, so we’re not generating revenue yet (this will be relevant later), but financially, I am not struggling and do not actually need a 9-5 job.”
“She does work outside of the house part-time. She wants to get married, and I can understand why, however, I do not feel the same way. In fact, I don’t ever want to be married again. She knows this and has since we got together.”
His girlfriend thinks that marriage is the best way to prove your commitment to someone. While he can sympathize with that, he doesn’t have the same view on marriage.
Getting married is a topic his girlfriend has brought up on a couple of occasions, and she knows his position on tying the knot. He’s never hid it from her that he has no interest in getting married again.
To him, taxes are the only benefits of being married to someone. Also, after his ex-wife cheated on him, he feels marriage is no longer a way to show you’re committed – marriage makes it more difficult to walk away from someone you’re romantically linked to in the event the relationship doesn’t work out.
Circling back to his new business, his girlfriend isn’t supportive of the company he’s trying to launch since he has yet to see a dollar from it.
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His girlfriend feels it’s more of a little pet project and wants him to help out more with household chores and spend more time with her (she works 30 hours weekly).
He cooks for them five days a week and keeps the kitchen clean. He could do more chores, but again, he’s trying to get his company off the ground.
This actually causes them to argue quite frequently, especially since his girlfriend doesn’t get what he’s working on.
Due to the fact that his girlfriend feels his business is silly, he doesn’t think she should be able to benefit from it in the future.
Where he’s going with this is if his girlfriend is going to push him to marry her, he expects her to sign a prenup, as he has a lot to protect.
He’s got investments, several cars, his own home, and retirement money. As for his business, he’s close to securing $2 million from investors, and his business should be worth more than $200 million in five years. Then he has his two kids from his ex-wife to think about, as well as the one child he shares with his girlfriend.
As for his girlfriend, she has nothing to her name, except her part-time job and her car.
Last night, he sat down with his girlfriend to talk about things he would like to accomplish in the future, such as purchasing a larger home and saving for college for the kids. During that chat, his girlfriend couldn’t help but bring up getting married.
His response was to ask her how she feels about signing a prenup, and she said she would never want to marry someone who would expect that of her, since to her, it means there’s no trust.
He shared his opinion – that prenups are for protection and that if a marriage goes south, sometimes people do hurtful things.
“I explained this was the way I would protect what I had before the person I’m with and what I built, by myself, without my partner’s support, and it wasn’t only to protect me but also my children’s stake in any of those assets (which obviously includes the one we have together),” he continued.
“She said she would never go after anything she wasn’t entitled to, and if she came after the house (although not mentioned specifically before her bringing it up), it would be for our child, not for her (our child is who gets the house according to my trust when I die, she knows this).”
“She then stormed off upstairs to the bedroom, ending the conversation.”
He’s left wondering if it’s mean of him to make it clear to his girlfriend that he won’t marry her without a prenup.
What do you think?
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